Looking at the past; Nostalgic
How we chose to see the past is constructed by our own views and opinion. The timeline is linear and progresses. The past is over and gone, something we can never reach. Our memories of the past is often idealistic and romanticise. The nostalgic sentiments we have is a longing for an idealistc glorified past. It is not exactly what the past is, because we only chose to see it as perfect, an answer to our present, a way to mould and make out of our future. In a way, nostalgic is an answer to progress and modernity. Amid progess and change, one get lost and cannot help to face the anxiety he will experience. And along this path, his unhappiness and dissatisfaction forces him to look into the past to look for what is lacking. A mother says to his son how she misses the times when he was still an adorable baby and it felt like it was just yesterday. She appreciates and enjoy those moment. We chose to see it that way, that the past is something good and we long for it. Escapism is a good way to put it across. How true is this? The ancient chinese philosophers also did it. Confucius quoted the ancient sage kings as role models. Everyone quotes the way of the ancient sage kings and admit there was an ideal age of antiquity. Nostalgic is not something new. There is always a tendency to fall back into the past, glorifiying the past and loving the past.
Learning this concept, i understood my devotion to the past. The "Romance" in the "Romance of the three kingdom" has its unqiue appeal that i never understood. I never understood the invisible force of the novel that reels me in . The word romance refers to something idealistic. One so perfect, flawless and wonderful. Now u noe y love and dating always associate with romance. The romance in the novel shed light on the issues of conduct and morality. It portrays an benevolent true ruler in Liu Bei, an loyal intelligent minister in Zhu Ge Liang, righteousness conduct in Guan Yu and the display of courage in Zhang Fei. These r qualities in the chinese culture, Confucianism, that everyman strived to possess. This is the "romance" of the novel. This extraordinary people of the past has acheived it and show what the impact they made on shaping the history of china.
My discontent and lost of direction in this current world has made the past particularly appealing. Yet, i do not disregard this society completely. It is merely my way of looking at the present. The past show me the way and what the present is. This is me.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Thinking like a Mohist
What job can i do? What job can i look for? Should it be something I like? Should it be a job that pays well? Should money be the primary concern? Should my interest be of the primary concern? If I'm to examine the reasons, will I find an answer? Let me see.
If I do a job which pays well and it is something that i do not like, I will not enjoy the job. I will grumble and complain. I will be lacklustre and lethargic at work but at the end of the day, the money i get can be used for me to buy the things i want and do the things i want. I can save up the money and go overseas for example. In the end, i get to enjoy myself.
If i do a job i like but pays little, I will enjoy myself at work and bear not to leave my workplace. I may become a workholic. I will find my efforts rewarding although i do not get sufficient cash for my own expenses. Lets say the cash is sufficient for the daily life expenses but not for additional extravagant luxuries, such as a spa or getting a car. Is that not enough?
After examination, it seems it is not clear which path holds a more valid reason to take after. The difference is just that the reward comes in different form, in terms of luxury the cash offers or the satisfaction from the job.
What job can i do? What job can i look for? Should it be something I like? Should it be a job that pays well? Should money be the primary concern? Should my interest be of the primary concern? If I'm to examine the reasons, will I find an answer? Let me see.
If I do a job which pays well and it is something that i do not like, I will not enjoy the job. I will grumble and complain. I will be lacklustre and lethargic at work but at the end of the day, the money i get can be used for me to buy the things i want and do the things i want. I can save up the money and go overseas for example. In the end, i get to enjoy myself.
If i do a job i like but pays little, I will enjoy myself at work and bear not to leave my workplace. I may become a workholic. I will find my efforts rewarding although i do not get sufficient cash for my own expenses. Lets say the cash is sufficient for the daily life expenses but not for additional extravagant luxuries, such as a spa or getting a car. Is that not enough?
After examination, it seems it is not clear which path holds a more valid reason to take after. The difference is just that the reward comes in different form, in terms of luxury the cash offers or the satisfaction from the job.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
This post is one produced with difficulty. It has challenged me to think so critically for the first time. I'm doing a philosophy module on philosophical thoughts during the China Warring States. The Analects in one text that I attempt to read on my own but its meaning too deep and abstract for me to apprehand. It is a very important Confucian texts of China history. So I take up the module, in the hope of understanding the text better. The lessons have been beneficial. It has certainly facilitated my understanding. Looking forward to it every week. Well, if philo doesn't bore u, go ahead and read it.
The Analects mention about the ideal person everyone should strive to achieve. That is to be gentleman, a man of highest virtue and morally upright. Confucian thoughts of the Analects highlight a lot on Ren (benevolence), and talks about Yi(propriety) and Li(ritual propriety). The three terms are inter-connected and have to be interpreted in terms of taking all of them into account to get a clear picture of a junzi. One general point that all three share in common is that a junzi must possess all these three qualities, as well as other qualities that are not discussed here, to pass off as a junzi.
I would like to use the analogy of the network of the various organs of the human body to illustrate the relationship between the three qualities. Ren like the heart, pumps the blood to the various organs. The blood serves as a transportation of oxygen and nutrients to the whole body. Without this vital supply, the rest of the organs cannot function. Needless to say, the man dies of should the heart stops. At the same time the lungs bring in the oxygen to the blood and the kidney removes toxins from the blood. If one of the organs is to fail in its function, the effects is disastrous to the body and the person may die eventually, that is in our case, the man disqualifies as a junzi without any of these qualities. It is not justified to say the heart is the primary organ of the human body or that the other organs are derived from the heart; Li and Yi are derived from Ren and Ren is the primary virtue.
[Passage 12.1] (Quoted from Readings in classical Chinese philosophy)
Yan Hui asked about Goodness.
The master said, “ Restraining yourself and returning to the rites constitutes Goodness. If one day you managed to restrain yourself and return to the rites,……. Do not look unless it is in accordance with ritual; do not speak unless it is in accordance with ritual; do not move unless it is in accordance with ritual.”
Here, in the passage, it can be interpreted that the way to cultivate Goodness is through the mastering of Li. Yet in passage 3.3 “A man who is not Good- what has he to do with ritual?” highlights the point that Li without Ren is useless. In 15.18, it is mentioned that “the gentleman takes rightness as his substance, puts it into practice by means of ritual”. Yi, carrying out the right actions, has to be judged according to certain standards set and laid down. Li is the answer to Yi. It acts as guideline in aiding a person to carry out his conduct. Acting in accordance to the rites will be correct. In this sense, from Li, one can nurtures his sense of rightness.
A conclusion can be drawn about the inter-relations between Ren and Yi from the connection between Yi and Li. Both Li and Yi have very close relations. Both are sets of rules whereby how one conducts, comprising of actions that is to be done. The only difference is that Li is restricted to the actions and practices of rituals and traditional practices. Without Ren, Li alone is inadequate, same likewise for Yi. Yet at the same time, Li is the way to nurture Ren as mentioned earlier on. The conduct itself eventually can cultivate the goodness of a person. This seems plausible that a person may do good things for all the wrong reasons initially but after receiving all the appreciation from those he had helped, his goals and selfish desires converge to one and is transformed into a genuine heart of goodness. All three shaped each other in a way that we perceive as the outwardly and innate ideals of a junzi.
The Analects mention about the ideal person everyone should strive to achieve. That is to be gentleman, a man of highest virtue and morally upright. Confucian thoughts of the Analects highlight a lot on Ren (benevolence), and talks about Yi(propriety) and Li(ritual propriety). The three terms are inter-connected and have to be interpreted in terms of taking all of them into account to get a clear picture of a junzi. One general point that all three share in common is that a junzi must possess all these three qualities, as well as other qualities that are not discussed here, to pass off as a junzi.
I would like to use the analogy of the network of the various organs of the human body to illustrate the relationship between the three qualities. Ren like the heart, pumps the blood to the various organs. The blood serves as a transportation of oxygen and nutrients to the whole body. Without this vital supply, the rest of the organs cannot function. Needless to say, the man dies of should the heart stops. At the same time the lungs bring in the oxygen to the blood and the kidney removes toxins from the blood. If one of the organs is to fail in its function, the effects is disastrous to the body and the person may die eventually, that is in our case, the man disqualifies as a junzi without any of these qualities. It is not justified to say the heart is the primary organ of the human body or that the other organs are derived from the heart; Li and Yi are derived from Ren and Ren is the primary virtue.
[Passage 12.1] (Quoted from Readings in classical Chinese philosophy)
Yan Hui asked about Goodness.
The master said, “ Restraining yourself and returning to the rites constitutes Goodness. If one day you managed to restrain yourself and return to the rites,……. Do not look unless it is in accordance with ritual; do not speak unless it is in accordance with ritual; do not move unless it is in accordance with ritual.”
Here, in the passage, it can be interpreted that the way to cultivate Goodness is through the mastering of Li. Yet in passage 3.3 “A man who is not Good- what has he to do with ritual?” highlights the point that Li without Ren is useless. In 15.18, it is mentioned that “the gentleman takes rightness as his substance, puts it into practice by means of ritual”. Yi, carrying out the right actions, has to be judged according to certain standards set and laid down. Li is the answer to Yi. It acts as guideline in aiding a person to carry out his conduct. Acting in accordance to the rites will be correct. In this sense, from Li, one can nurtures his sense of rightness.
A conclusion can be drawn about the inter-relations between Ren and Yi from the connection between Yi and Li. Both Li and Yi have very close relations. Both are sets of rules whereby how one conducts, comprising of actions that is to be done. The only difference is that Li is restricted to the actions and practices of rituals and traditional practices. Without Ren, Li alone is inadequate, same likewise for Yi. Yet at the same time, Li is the way to nurture Ren as mentioned earlier on. The conduct itself eventually can cultivate the goodness of a person. This seems plausible that a person may do good things for all the wrong reasons initially but after receiving all the appreciation from those he had helped, his goals and selfish desires converge to one and is transformed into a genuine heart of goodness. All three shaped each other in a way that we perceive as the outwardly and innate ideals of a junzi.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Abnormal psychology of a cat
I like to stop and observe the behavior of cats. Not just that, i will not hesitate to approach any cats in my sight just to give a little pat and attention to it. There r people who enjoy bird-watching, my friend in particular, has this hobby. Well, with this interest of mine, maybe u can label me as a cat watcher. I just find the cat's behavior very unusual and decided to write about it. After being "chased out" of the NUS library, i took the usual route of going home, 96 to clementi and then 184 home. At the void deck near to the Clementi bus-stop, i spotted a cat sitting down and starring into empty space. From where i was, i could see that it has a light orange coat of fur. I approach it from behind and see whether it will run away. This is one good sign of telling whether it has been domesticated before or not. As i draw myself closer, I observe that it was really one fat cat. I rarely see one that is so well fed before. I would say that its a obese cat. It didn't ran away when it saw me. At that instant, I wasn't too far away from the cat. It mewed in response and started rubbing its body against the nearby walls. So far, this is a normal response. It is, to my understanding, an submissive behavior. There is a trend in cat's reaction to any person who approaches it that is submissive. From my past experiences and encounters, after the rubbing act, it would be followed by the cat's approach towards the person and start to rub its own body against him, or it would lie on the floor and start rolling around, allowing the person to pat it . Either way, the cat will accept any form of contact with the human, be it just a pat or the rubbing itself. What can be considered anomalous tonite was that the cat avoided any form of physical contact with me. I was also quite shocked at the force of rubbing the cat applied. There was a bicycle tied to the pipes near the wall. The cat was pushing itself so hard to the bicycle wheel that the whole bicycle moved quite a bit. Then when i tried to pat it, it avoided me and ran to another wall to continue its forceful rubbing. So it started to run between the two walls and continue its strange behavior, while doing so, it smartly avoided my attempts to touch it. It sure is one interesting finding today. I wonder wat's the cause of its strange action and wat it means.
Friday, January 19, 2007
I like very much the chinese way of describing all natural phenomenons. Not just to the world around us, but the nature of the world is innate element of the living. The nature of u, me and the cat u see along the road is all but one. We are all similar, yet also there are distinct differences. It is interesting to take note that the heavenly order or the way of all under heaven, is nothing but a cycle of events. The growth cycle of plant goes like this, seeds grow to and mature to adult gigantic trees. Before their death, the seeds they produced dispersed and the whole process repeats itself again. Observe the 4 seasons, and the switch between day and nite, r they not also a cycle that endlessly perpetuate itself? It is a never-ending story. It proceeds on, just like that.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
This will be my last semester in NUS. Some envy my position, happy that i'm about to complete the course of education and move on. Not only this, some of my friends can't wait to graduate, complaining about their mundane repetitive school semesters of intense workload. They r just missing the point. What do they know? These words come out from those who do not really give it a serious thought. Yeh, sure, everyone's busy and tired but what is studying compared to the outside work life? Earning the bucks does give you the right, freedom and access to spending but it comes with such a high price. One realise the ups to school life, if u examine closely enough. Acquiring knowledge can be quite pleasurable, if without exams, i have to agree, but the tough part of the exams, the preparation is only that few weeks. In school, you dont have to answer to ur boss or get screwed by him, neither would u have to face senseless, irritating customers. I think the responsibilites increase, and the roles you assume changes along with it. I cannot bear to leave the warmth of the NUS environment, the place where u make good friends and interact more freely together, the social context i'm trying to bring across is so much diff from ur working environment, at least when u take ur fave module, u noe people in ur class more or less do, how to tell and meet one who likes chinese literature in my newly posted workplace? See my point??? No politics in school, no back-stabbing, no power abuse. Sometimes, i wish that i can retreat to my isolated hut in the middle of the forest, plant my own crops and live a life without conflicts, away from people. Just drink wine, make merry and watch birds and aprreciate nature. (daoism teachings)This is one dream i often have, inspired by hermit lives lead by ancient chinese sage. Sounds pessismistic but a person's mood, emotions and beliefs are constantly everchanging. Changes can be quite drastic and quite ironical as they move between two extreme thoughts. And i thought i was the only one like this but people before my time had presented such thoughts. Sometimes, I feel that my life is wasted away as i have no accomplished anything. I have dreamt of great dreams, ambitions and inspiration to make fame for myself(think i got influenced by confucian teachings)
In conclusion, i'm a daoist combine with confucianist in my future workplace..........
In conclusion, i'm a daoist combine with confucianist in my future workplace..........
Monday, December 18, 2006
Frosty the snowman
Frosty the Snowman
Was a jolly happy soul
With a corncob pipe and a button nose
And two eyes made out of coal
Frosty the Snowman
Is a fairytale they say
He was made of snow
But the children know
How he came to life one day
There must have been some magic
In that old silk hat they found
For when they placed it on his head
He began to dance around
Frosty the Snowman
Was alive as he could be
And the children say
He could laugh and play
Just the same as you and me
Frosty the Snowman
Knew the sun was hot that day
So he said let's run
And we'll have some fun
Now before I melt away
Down to the village
With a broomstick in his hand
Running here and there all around the square
Saying catch me if you can
He led them down the streets of town
Right to the traffic cop
And he only paused a moment when
He heard him holler stop
Frosty the Snowman
Had to hurry on his way
But he waved goodbye
Saying don't you cry
I'll be back again some day
Thumpety thump thumpThumpety thump thump
Look at Frosty go
Thumpety thump thumpThumpety thump thump
Over the hills of snow
Another week to christmas day. Its a joyous occassion to rejoice, making merry and singing christmas songs. Of all the songs, frosty the snowman is the one I love the most. The tune and lyrics are catchy and simple. Yet, it is from the simplicity that the message carried across touches the heart of those who listen to it and sings to its tune. It tells the tale of magical incidents where a snowman comes to life and makes merry, playing catch with children. The eenchanting tale brings life and colour to our world, giving us a chance for our imagination to run wild and to believe in something, something like a snowman coming to life. Is it not delightful to hear of such a miracle? It touches me deeply, i feel the warmth to my inner soul when frosty knows that he won't last long but he just don't give a hell of a hack to it.
"Frosty the Snowman
Knew the sun was hot that day
So he said let's run
And we'll have some fun
Now before I melt away"
He knew that he would melt and cease to exist but he didn't lament about it. Instead, he chose to bring joy to the world and play catch with the children. He was so lively and he ran all over the place, not like of anything near to a dying man. Perhaps life is short, but so what's wrong with that? Frosty has shown us how we should lead our lives, to treasure every second, minute and hour we have. No matter how long, how short it can be, we shall live up to the most of it. Oops, i'm feeling the tears in my eyes again now, but just can't help it.....
Frosty the Snowman
Was a jolly happy soul
With a corncob pipe and a button nose
And two eyes made out of coal
Frosty the Snowman
Is a fairytale they say
He was made of snow
But the children know
How he came to life one day
There must have been some magic
In that old silk hat they found
For when they placed it on his head
He began to dance around
Frosty the Snowman
Was alive as he could be
And the children say
He could laugh and play
Just the same as you and me
Frosty the Snowman
Knew the sun was hot that day
So he said let's run
And we'll have some fun
Now before I melt away
Down to the village
With a broomstick in his hand
Running here and there all around the square
Saying catch me if you can
He led them down the streets of town
Right to the traffic cop
And he only paused a moment when
He heard him holler stop
Frosty the Snowman
Had to hurry on his way
But he waved goodbye
Saying don't you cry
I'll be back again some day
Thumpety thump thumpThumpety thump thump
Look at Frosty go
Thumpety thump thumpThumpety thump thump
Over the hills of snow
Another week to christmas day. Its a joyous occassion to rejoice, making merry and singing christmas songs. Of all the songs, frosty the snowman is the one I love the most. The tune and lyrics are catchy and simple. Yet, it is from the simplicity that the message carried across touches the heart of those who listen to it and sings to its tune. It tells the tale of magical incidents where a snowman comes to life and makes merry, playing catch with children. The eenchanting tale brings life and colour to our world, giving us a chance for our imagination to run wild and to believe in something, something like a snowman coming to life. Is it not delightful to hear of such a miracle? It touches me deeply, i feel the warmth to my inner soul when frosty knows that he won't last long but he just don't give a hell of a hack to it.
"Frosty the Snowman
Knew the sun was hot that day
So he said let's run
And we'll have some fun
Now before I melt away"
He knew that he would melt and cease to exist but he didn't lament about it. Instead, he chose to bring joy to the world and play catch with the children. He was so lively and he ran all over the place, not like of anything near to a dying man. Perhaps life is short, but so what's wrong with that? Frosty has shown us how we should lead our lives, to treasure every second, minute and hour we have. No matter how long, how short it can be, we shall live up to the most of it. Oops, i'm feeling the tears in my eyes again now, but just can't help it.....
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Entrapped in a room with the air-condition set to unbearable coldness, i had to await my turn for presentation while suffering from hunger pangs and panic runs. I always fear presentations, to be specific and exact, speaking up in front of a crowd to offer my opinion. Observe, i dont speak unless i have to, explaining to a large extent of my silence and solemn look during tutorials or group discussions. I just dont like to speak up, its a characteristic of mine. Everyone has some weakness, something he fears, presentation would be my number one fear factor! fancy that coming out from a NUS student who is likely to be a expartriate in the future who has to lead a group of staffs under him, what does that speak of?
Mr Shekelle has issued his concern to me before about my presentation topic that i have choosen. How can i forget the day of the lecture when he started off the lesson with the excel file magnified on the big screen, displaying all of our topics. Beside my topic, he added a little remark beside it, "topic too similar to one done last semester, not recommended " undeniably, that got me a little shaken up, as i ask myself "where to find another topic to do?" I approach him and express my choice of procceeding anyway. He gave me the consent and i did my preparatory works before the day comes.
One after another, the speakers went up to do their 5mins presentation for this lsm module. Evolution and comparative genomics has been a interesting module, it would have been better if there's no confrontation! The name itself is already so intimidating, instead of calling it a presentation, confrontation does carry a aggressive connotation! I picture two person fighting and arguing with each other when they do "confront" each other. I was sitting there, waiting for my turn, i was experiencing mixed feelings, hoping for it to end soon so that i can go for dinner, at the same time wishing for my turn not to come. I did the slides sloppily, only rushing it just two days before the confrontation, didn't felt that i'm well prepared for it.
Prof Shekelle announced my name, its my turn to go up there and get confronted by the audience on the floor. I have seen the earlier presenters bombarded with questions from the audiences and the judges. The atmosphere is anything but relaxing as i drag my feet to go up there. Up there, i open my mouth to speak, fortunately, audible sensible words do come out of my mouth.
"Hi, i'm going to present the topic, an enthological approach to human laughter", i hear a couple of "ooooo" coming from the audience. Next comes a series of events which i never see it coming. When it comes to the definition of laughter, what i had on the powerpoint slides was "hahah ho ho ho he he he he " to define laughter. I didn't meant for it to be a joke and was serious bout it when i mentioned that i think i dont have to mention what laughter is. The audience just break into laughter. I seriously am clueless to what's so funny bout it. I was not aware that my presentation is "funny" though its bout laughter. The audience and the judges were enjoying themselves, smiling and laughing at times. That was the whole turning point of the tension i felt before the confrontation. For the first time in life, i was actually enjoying a presentation. It is interesting to note that i had experience what my presentation is bout, human laughter; its function as a social bond, its ability to breakdown nervousness and makes one feel comfortable. I have uncovered the art of presentation unknowingly. It is none other than laughter!
Injecting the sense of humour, mentioned in my presentation is about being witty, the ability to react to a situation and make a funny remark about it requires fast thinking. Being witty is a form of intelligence, and people are appreciated for this sort of intelligence. Women love man who r humourous who can make them laugh. interestingly, man are interested in meeting a women who laugh in his presence. A man's own laughter does not reflect any interest in the women.
I think being funny is not what everyone is born with. Its a talent and its a gift that u should appreciate. Making people laugh is no easy job. It requires a gift of touch. Give a pat on the shoulder of someone who make u laugh the next time. They definitely deserve that for putting so much effort and thought into it.
Mr Shekelle has issued his concern to me before about my presentation topic that i have choosen. How can i forget the day of the lecture when he started off the lesson with the excel file magnified on the big screen, displaying all of our topics. Beside my topic, he added a little remark beside it, "topic too similar to one done last semester, not recommended " undeniably, that got me a little shaken up, as i ask myself "where to find another topic to do?" I approach him and express my choice of procceeding anyway. He gave me the consent and i did my preparatory works before the day comes.
One after another, the speakers went up to do their 5mins presentation for this lsm module. Evolution and comparative genomics has been a interesting module, it would have been better if there's no confrontation! The name itself is already so intimidating, instead of calling it a presentation, confrontation does carry a aggressive connotation! I picture two person fighting and arguing with each other when they do "confront" each other. I was sitting there, waiting for my turn, i was experiencing mixed feelings, hoping for it to end soon so that i can go for dinner, at the same time wishing for my turn not to come. I did the slides sloppily, only rushing it just two days before the confrontation, didn't felt that i'm well prepared for it.
Prof Shekelle announced my name, its my turn to go up there and get confronted by the audience on the floor. I have seen the earlier presenters bombarded with questions from the audiences and the judges. The atmosphere is anything but relaxing as i drag my feet to go up there. Up there, i open my mouth to speak, fortunately, audible sensible words do come out of my mouth.
"Hi, i'm going to present the topic, an enthological approach to human laughter", i hear a couple of "ooooo" coming from the audience. Next comes a series of events which i never see it coming. When it comes to the definition of laughter, what i had on the powerpoint slides was "hahah ho ho ho he he he he " to define laughter. I didn't meant for it to be a joke and was serious bout it when i mentioned that i think i dont have to mention what laughter is. The audience just break into laughter. I seriously am clueless to what's so funny bout it. I was not aware that my presentation is "funny" though its bout laughter. The audience and the judges were enjoying themselves, smiling and laughing at times. That was the whole turning point of the tension i felt before the confrontation. For the first time in life, i was actually enjoying a presentation. It is interesting to note that i had experience what my presentation is bout, human laughter; its function as a social bond, its ability to breakdown nervousness and makes one feel comfortable. I have uncovered the art of presentation unknowingly. It is none other than laughter!
Injecting the sense of humour, mentioned in my presentation is about being witty, the ability to react to a situation and make a funny remark about it requires fast thinking. Being witty is a form of intelligence, and people are appreciated for this sort of intelligence. Women love man who r humourous who can make them laugh. interestingly, man are interested in meeting a women who laugh in his presence. A man's own laughter does not reflect any interest in the women.
I think being funny is not what everyone is born with. Its a talent and its a gift that u should appreciate. Making people laugh is no easy job. It requires a gift of touch. Give a pat on the shoulder of someone who make u laugh the next time. They definitely deserve that for putting so much effort and thought into it.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
How much do u believe in horoscope, fortune telling, divination, feng shui and other means to predict one's life and destiny? The idea of the fact that one particular chinese horoscope website successful attempt at describing my personality by just input of my birth hour and date is enough to set me into a series of self-thought. I'm always engage in mind-activities like this. Simple things set me into the mental probing process.
I don't like the idea at all. I don't like the fact that the site is so accurate. It simply reinforce the point that there is some specific engineering process that is going on with the design of every person in this world. There's a formula, that is at this hour and this date, you shall be made in this way. I'm disturbed, that our begining has already been laid down by some force out there, this unseen force that carve us. If this is so, what can we speak of about our future? Wouldn't that mean that the future has already been designed, a blueprint of what we would go through is already there. We are merely players in this game. Can we not be the ones who shall mould our own futures? Are we helpless, going through a series of events that we are made to go through? I do not wish that it will be that way. I want to be in control. Speak not of destiny, I shall retain the ability and power of finding my life.
I don't like the idea at all. I don't like the fact that the site is so accurate. It simply reinforce the point that there is some specific engineering process that is going on with the design of every person in this world. There's a formula, that is at this hour and this date, you shall be made in this way. I'm disturbed, that our begining has already been laid down by some force out there, this unseen force that carve us. If this is so, what can we speak of about our future? Wouldn't that mean that the future has already been designed, a blueprint of what we would go through is already there. We are merely players in this game. Can we not be the ones who shall mould our own futures? Are we helpless, going through a series of events that we are made to go through? I do not wish that it will be that way. I want to be in control. Speak not of destiny, I shall retain the ability and power of finding my life.
Monday, November 06, 2006
This blog has been lifeless for a long time. There is no activity. I had been engrossed with my assignments, too busy. There hasn't been much about my life, that's the main point. Study and write papers. I dont wish to bore u people with the details. Only something worth mentioning is that I find myself getting to know more people this semester. Through all kinds of peculiar ways?!?!? maybe peculiar aint the right word, interesting way should be more appropriate.
Most of my current stream of new friends are from the chinese studies modules loh. I think that we are along the same line of thought, which explains y it is so. U noe the strange thing is that, i realise i never know myself entirely. Some parts of me, i could never understand. I realise, through the reading materials that i got to read for my CH module, that there r two forces in a man that influence his behavior or thoughts. They are the emotional and the rational sides. The emotional side of me is disturbingly unpleasant. I have been through it and trust me, u can do crazy things that u will never think of. Its scary. Its insanity. But i'm so glad that i know myself capable of such things. I mean i would not wish to have live in ignorance and laugh at others for their silly acts, at least to me it may seem silly at first. After i been through this. I said to myself that hey, i'm just as vulnerable as them. Other's moment of follies can befall on oneself too. We are all susceptible to the same kind of threats. The weakness of the human nature, we cannot escape this innate self; our emotional needs.
I won't want to remark that i have grown up and become mature. Its far from that. Maturity is so much more than that. Its experiences from life, from interaction with people from all walks of life too. I feel that something bout me has changed. Everyone change, at some point of life, but to what extent? Something change, but i'm still the Qinli that you all know. Well, something just changed.
One more thing to add, after exposure to chinese materials and reading a couple of blogs written in chinese by my friends, i feel like writting in chinese too!!!!!! But not to worry, i'm aware of my english-based readers. So i'm setting another blog in chinese and link it to this one. This blog will still exist. The other blog will be entirely chinese, this one shall be entirely english. This will avoid the confusion and resolve the complains i receive. Seems like people got difficulty understanding my chinese content. Ok, that's all folks.
Most of my current stream of new friends are from the chinese studies modules loh. I think that we are along the same line of thought, which explains y it is so. U noe the strange thing is that, i realise i never know myself entirely. Some parts of me, i could never understand. I realise, through the reading materials that i got to read for my CH module, that there r two forces in a man that influence his behavior or thoughts. They are the emotional and the rational sides. The emotional side of me is disturbingly unpleasant. I have been through it and trust me, u can do crazy things that u will never think of. Its scary. Its insanity. But i'm so glad that i know myself capable of such things. I mean i would not wish to have live in ignorance and laugh at others for their silly acts, at least to me it may seem silly at first. After i been through this. I said to myself that hey, i'm just as vulnerable as them. Other's moment of follies can befall on oneself too. We are all susceptible to the same kind of threats. The weakness of the human nature, we cannot escape this innate self; our emotional needs.
I won't want to remark that i have grown up and become mature. Its far from that. Maturity is so much more than that. Its experiences from life, from interaction with people from all walks of life too. I feel that something bout me has changed. Everyone change, at some point of life, but to what extent? Something change, but i'm still the Qinli that you all know. Well, something just changed.
One more thing to add, after exposure to chinese materials and reading a couple of blogs written in chinese by my friends, i feel like writting in chinese too!!!!!! But not to worry, i'm aware of my english-based readers. So i'm setting another blog in chinese and link it to this one. This blog will still exist. The other blog will be entirely chinese, this one shall be entirely english. This will avoid the confusion and resolve the complains i receive. Seems like people got difficulty understanding my chinese content. Ok, that's all folks.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Things come and go. Memories becomes faint. I'm begining to forget...... forgetting.... sometimes, it is good to forget. Some things should be forgotton. Some should stay. I just feel that things are changing. My life is changed forever. The choice of taking china studies as a minor paid off. Perhaps, this is fate. I'm happy. Y? Happy that i have found it. Found what? There's no need for me to say it, since i noe it, so y mention it?
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Thursday, October 19, 2006
And so i am, living a life of a lone wanderer. Free and boundless, no restrictions and no limitations. I experience mixed emotions and thoughts; at times, I enjoy the peace and quiet of my own personal space I have all to myself. At times, i feel empty and sad. These are the ups and downs of life. A man should look ahead and not allow himself to be buried within his own past. The past is over. The future is not for us to see. What is important is now. The present is all that is crucial.
So i shall talk bout today. I got back my 5000 word chinese term paper done all by myself. It was great, though i got a B+, considering that i done it over a week, with such short period of time, a B+ i would say is a excellent grade that you can expect. Life science still sucks as before. I have thought of what i would like to do for my future. This time, it is something for certain, not just something i said out of impulse. After getting my life science degree, i would apply for NIE and be a teacher. The bond is 3 years, enough time for me to earn the cash for my dream to come true. I would fly to the States to pursue a post-graduate studies in chinese history to get my PHD. I would like to come back to join NUS and further my research and teaching in this field. Its a tough path, one that will take a long time and lots of perserverance to carry on, but I am willing to embark on this road that i have chosen. By the time i come back, i will a 30 year old bachelor, probably.
So i shall talk bout today. I got back my 5000 word chinese term paper done all by myself. It was great, though i got a B+, considering that i done it over a week, with such short period of time, a B+ i would say is a excellent grade that you can expect. Life science still sucks as before. I have thought of what i would like to do for my future. This time, it is something for certain, not just something i said out of impulse. After getting my life science degree, i would apply for NIE and be a teacher. The bond is 3 years, enough time for me to earn the cash for my dream to come true. I would fly to the States to pursue a post-graduate studies in chinese history to get my PHD. I would like to come back to join NUS and further my research and teaching in this field. Its a tough path, one that will take a long time and lots of perserverance to carry on, but I am willing to embark on this road that i have chosen. By the time i come back, i will a 30 year old bachelor, probably.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Friday, October 06, 2006
And so we just stood there and smiled at each other. No words are exchanged. It felt like as if words aren't important anymore. No words can describe everthing in this world. I don't have to say anything. The few seconds of silence, the short moment of just you and me; it felt like eternity, like time just feezes there. Deep down, in my heart, i know..... and so we just kept our silence.....But we know........
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
So far my semester has been extremely busy. Since i'm taking 6 modules, i have very little time for myself. But i'm glad that i have made the choice, enjoying myself when it comes to the chinese studies module. Made a few friends from my project group members. That's what i like about being involved in project works, making friends and knowing new people. I haven't been keeping up to my level of fitness, sad to say..... I have to start to be involved in swimming and cycling once again.
Anyway, I'm me once again! Cool! Ha, and i'm surprised at how fast i can change. I'm glad of the test given to me, it makes me a better person in the end. Facing the obstacle, your confidence gets shaken and you fear. But then, once you overcome it, your morale gets boosted and your inspirations lead you further on. Face your hurdles in life with courage and a positive mentality. Only you yourself can make the difference. No one can help you in this.
Anyway, I'm me once again! Cool! Ha, and i'm surprised at how fast i can change. I'm glad of the test given to me, it makes me a better person in the end. Facing the obstacle, your confidence gets shaken and you fear. But then, once you overcome it, your morale gets boosted and your inspirations lead you further on. Face your hurdles in life with courage and a positive mentality. Only you yourself can make the difference. No one can help you in this.
Monday, September 18, 2006
To the Virgin, To Make Much of Time
by Robert Herrick (1591-1674)
Gather ye rose-buds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying;
And this same flower that smiles today,
Tomorrow will be dying.
The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun,
The higher he's a-getting,
The sooner will his race be run,
And nearer he's to setting.
That age is best which is the first,
When youth and blood are warmer;
But being spent, the worse, and worst
Times, still succeed the former.
Then be not coy, but use your time,
And while ye may, go marry;
For having lost but once your prime,
You may for ever tarry.
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