I got tagged from Hanxun aeons ago. Well, what can I say? On obligations and deadlines to meet, it sounds too much like NUS routine life. I need a break and to do things only when I feel like doing it. Dear friend, hope you don't mind I took so long to finally feel like hitting the keyboard on my lappy and tag others. So here's how the game goes: Rule of the game: each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own 10 weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks! I do not think my list of social circle meets the quota of 6 people. I don't know. See how after I talk about the 10 things I have about myself.
1) It doesn't take a genius or a CAPS of 5 to tell that I'm a extremely shy person. Till this very day, I'm still one. There is a varying degree of such a behavior and it does not mean that a shy person rejects socialisation. It merely means a conflict between the desire to socialise and the fear of rejection at the same time. The result is a guy who chose to keep to himself and avoid the risk of uncontrollable situation in meeting strangers. I'm trying hard to accept my shyness and overcome the ills of it.
2) My ideal life is to retreat into the forest, have my hut and plot of land all to myself. Living the life of isolation like a hermit, like Tao Yuan Ming(陶渊明). I know its crazy! but it just appeal so much to me. Out there, the world is complicated. I want things simple. I don't want to intervene in other's affairs, like wise, i do not welcome interference in my affairs from others. Isn't it wonderful to plant chrysanthemum at my own leisure, only by chance see the far-away mountains? (采菊东篱下，悠然见南山). The idle life is great. We are merely actors in a play. When the play is over, the actors leave the stage and the audience clap and marvel. The play has finished and everyone goes home. How short and transient life is? How to enjoy life if we cannot for one moment, idle and do nothing, like fishes i keep? I observe my fishes. They seem so carefree and swim so happily without troubles. When they are tired, they rest on the broad leaves of the water plant I place in the tank. Even fishes do nothing by idling around!
3) I was obsessed with the idea of brotherhood at one point. I was influenced by the Peach garden oath between Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei. This was the opening event in the novel Romance of the three kingdom. The three man swore to die on the same year, same month and same die, to signify their sincerity and faith in their brotherhood. I began my journey to search for worthy men to be my brothers. I got a sworn sister instead. Ermm. but we didn't say the same oath. That's something of the past already. No need to be exactly the same. Anyway, it's the best thing that ever happen to me. I couldn't ask for more.
4) I'm prone to insomnia. A lot of people wouldn't know this. A shy person is one who is too very much concerned with oneself. He displays narcissistic qualities where the individual concerns becomes overwhelming. He cannot focus on the current situation he faces and does too much inner-talking. He talks inside himself, asking questions like what should I say? What if I say something wrong? Would the things I say be interesting enough? At night, my self-reflection is at its most vigorous level. I think about what I say in the day. How I was received by others and what I should say so that it will be better and more interesting. It's frustrating sometimes. I couldn't sleep because I think too much. I have to learn to take words less seriously.
5) I'm proud to proclaim that I'm a follower of the Daoist philosophy. Effortless living, spontaneous way and flowing along the course of the river is what I love to achieve. Lesser of a Confucianism, and more of Zen Buddhism which teaches the same thing as the Dao of Zhuangzhi.
6) I enjoy to see people laugh or make people laugh. This makes me feel less tense and comfortable around them. Once, I did a presentation in NUS and make everyone laugh. It may not mean anything to people who can do it easily but to me, its a great acheivement. The satisfaction is more than picking up a million dollars on the street! Having a CAPS of 5 also won't bring me that kind of joy.
7) Friends sometimes comment that I laugh too much to myself without any apparent reason. So sorry man, it just my way of releasing the tension and pressure I felt in a conversation.
8) I can be a very very lazy person. I can be too lazy to get something to eat, too lazy to reply an sms, too lazy to do almost anything. It doesn't always go like that. It behaves like a cycle, I will be a complete lazy bum at one point, then I will just transform and become enthusiastic in anything I do. It is like how the Daoist describe it, "the weak become strong, the strong become weak", the opposites co-exist and inter-change at appropriate times. This has its deep roots in my inclination for an idle life.
9) I treasure my relationship with others a lot. When I make friends, I am ready to form intimate and close relationship with them. I have few friends, and the friends I have will eventually become best friends.
10) I despise the lesser man. In other words, the petty man (小人), who is caught up with his own gains and status. These are despicable people who enjoy office politics, gossipping, bent on ruining other and using others as stepping stones to get what they want. They just don't care about the others and want things for themselves. Sad to say, there's plenty of such people around. Where can I find a gentleman (君子) so that I can have a word with him? One who is sensitive to other's needs and care for others. A gentleman shows loving compassion for others. He wishes to do good for others and not to harm others.
So who to tag?hmm.... let me see.... Definitely my sworn sis, followed by joyce, xiao yang, shu rong, guo zhen and Nasir! Guys, take ur time to respond to this tag game.
