Entrapped in a room with the air-condition set to unbearable coldness, i had to await my turn for presentation while suffering from hunger pangs and panic runs. I always fear presentations, to be specific and exact, speaking up in front of a crowd to offer my opinion. Observe, i dont speak unless i have to, explaining to a large extent of my silence and solemn look during tutorials or group discussions. I just dont like to speak up, its a characteristic of mine. Everyone has some weakness, something he fears, presentation would be my number one fear factor! fancy that coming out from a NUS student who is likely to be a expartriate in the future who has to lead a group of staffs under him, what does that speak of?

Mr Shekelle has issued his concern to me before about my presentation topic that i have choosen. How can i forget the day of the lecture when he started off the lesson with the excel file magnified on the big screen, displaying all of our topics. Beside my topic, he added a little remark beside it, "topic too similar to one done last semester, not recommended " undeniably, that got me a little shaken up, as i ask myself "where to find another topic to do?" I approach him and express my choice of procceeding anyway. He gave me the consent and i did my preparatory works before the day comes.

One after another, the speakers went up to do their 5mins presentation for this lsm module. Evolution and comparative genomics has been a interesting module, it would have been better if there's no confrontation! The name itself is already so intimidating, instead of calling it a presentation, confrontation does carry a aggressive connotation! I picture two person fighting and arguing with each other when they do "confront" each other. I was sitting there, waiting for my turn, i was experiencing mixed feelings, hoping for it to end soon so that i can go for dinner, at the same time wishing for my turn not to come. I did the slides sloppily, only rushing it just two days before the confrontation, didn't felt that i'm well prepared for it.

Prof Shekelle announced my name, its my turn to go up there and get confronted by the audience on the floor. I have seen the earlier presenters bombarded with questions from the audiences and the judges. The atmosphere is anything but relaxing as i drag my feet to go up there. Up there, i open my mouth to speak, fortunately, audible sensible words do come out of my mouth.

"Hi, i'm going to present the topic, an enthological approach to human laughter", i hear a couple of "ooooo" coming from the audience. Next comes a series of events which i never see it coming. When it comes to the definition of laughter, what i had on the powerpoint slides was "hahah ho ho ho he he he he " to define laughter. I didn't meant for it to be a joke and was serious bout it when i mentioned that i think i dont have to mention what laughter is. The audience just break into laughter. I seriously am clueless to what's so funny bout it. I was not aware that my presentation is "funny" though its bout laughter. The audience and the judges were enjoying themselves, smiling and laughing at times. That was the whole turning point of the tension i felt before the confrontation. For the first time in life, i was actually enjoying a presentation. It is interesting to note that i had experience what my presentation is bout, human laughter; its function as a social bond, its ability to breakdown nervousness and makes one feel comfortable. I have uncovered the art of presentation unknowingly. It is none other than laughter!

Injecting the sense of humour, mentioned in my presentation is about being witty, the ability to react to a situation and make a funny remark about it requires fast thinking. Being witty is a form of intelligence, and people are appreciated for this sort of intelligence. Women love man who r humourous who can make them laugh. interestingly, man are interested in meeting a women who laugh in his presence. A man's own laughter does not reflect any interest in the women.

I think being funny is not what everyone is born with. Its a talent and its a gift that u should appreciate. Making people laugh is no easy job. It requires a gift of touch. Give a pat on the shoulder of someone who make u laugh the next time. They definitely deserve that for putting so much effort and thought into it.

How much do u believe in horoscope, fortune telling, divination, feng shui and other means to predict one's life and destiny? The idea of the fact that one particular chinese horoscope website successful attempt at describing my personality by just input of my birth hour and date is enough to set me into a series of self-thought. I'm always engage in mind-activities like this. Simple things set me into the mental probing process.

I don't like the idea at all. I don't like the fact that the site is so accurate. It simply reinforce the point that there is some specific engineering process that is going on with the design of every person in this world. There's a formula, that is at this hour and this date, you shall be made in this way. I'm disturbed, that our begining has already been laid down by some force out there, this unseen force that carve us. If this is so, what can we speak of about our future? Wouldn't that mean that the future has already been designed, a blueprint of what we would go through is already there. We are merely players in this game. Can we not be the ones who shall mould our own futures? Are we helpless, going through a series of events that we are made to go through? I do not wish that it will be that way. I want to be in control. Speak not of destiny, I shall retain the ability and power of finding my life.

This blog has been lifeless for a long time. There is no activity. I had been engrossed with my assignments, too busy. There hasn't been much about my life, that's the main point. Study and write papers. I dont wish to bore u people with the details. Only something worth mentioning is that I find myself getting to know more people this semester. Through all kinds of peculiar ways?!?!? maybe peculiar aint the right word, interesting way should be more appropriate.

Most of my current stream of new friends are from the chinese studies modules loh. I think that we are along the same line of thought, which explains y it is so. U noe the strange thing is that, i realise i never know myself entirely. Some parts of me, i could never understand. I realise, through the reading materials that i got to read for my CH module, that there r two forces in a man that influence his behavior or thoughts. They are the emotional and the rational sides. The emotional side of me is disturbingly unpleasant. I have been through it and trust me, u can do crazy things that u will never think of. Its scary. Its insanity. But i'm so glad that i know myself capable of such things. I mean i would not wish to have live in ignorance and laugh at others for their silly acts, at least to me it may seem silly at first. After i been through this. I said to myself that hey, i'm just as vulnerable as them. Other's moment of follies can befall on oneself too. We are all susceptible to the same kind of threats. The weakness of the human nature, we cannot escape this innate self; our emotional needs.

I won't want to remark that i have grown up and become mature. Its far from that. Maturity is so much more than that. Its experiences from life, from interaction with people from all walks of life too. I feel that something bout me has changed. Everyone change, at some point of life, but to what extent? Something change, but i'm still the Qinli that you all know. Well, something just changed.

One more thing to add, after exposure to chinese materials and reading a couple of blogs written in chinese by my friends, i feel like writting in chinese too!!!!!! But not to worry, i'm aware of my english-based readers. So i'm setting another blog in chinese and link it to this one. This blog will still exist. The other blog will be entirely chinese, this one shall be entirely english. This will avoid the confusion and resolve the complains i receive. Seems like people got difficulty understanding my chinese content. Ok, that's all folks.