My job requires me to read. This should be a pleasurable experience. But its my job. It's my work. Reading is fun no longer applies. Activities are only fun when you have the luxury to do as and when you feel like it. At the end of the day, I'm expected to deliver something out of it. To conduct booktalking, to write book reviews within a given period of time. I cannot afford to read at my own pace, I cannot mince the words and appreciate the delivery of their fantastic stories.

There is a clear distinction between interest and work. I never like to mingle the two together. It can never be. Some people can. My deepest and sincere reverence to them. When interest become work, it is no longer the same. I cannot understand the devotion and passion people have for their jobs. It seems work is all they have and all to life. I never will.

At this point of time, the dream manifests itself again and tempts me once more. I shall have a piece of land, in a quaint nice peaceful outskirts of chengdu, to lead a hard to resist idyllic life. I shall plant my crops and tea and be self-sufficient.

At times, I will invite my friends over for some tea. We can drink tea for the whole day, and the society forgets our existence. Then, when I feel like it, I shall leave my hut and travel to see the four great mountains of sichuan.

After that, I will travel further to Lu Shan and see if I can discover the true form of Lu Shan. For a poet once said that Lu Shan grandness is surreal and it mystifies itself by concealing its true nature. Perhaps I might gain some kind of enlightening of my own and write another poem which no one will hear of once i compose it. Alas, I wish the society forgets about me and I too forget about the human society.

Veronika decides to die

Paulo Coelho does it again, after "The Alchemist" that has left a lasting impression, Coelho's work with deep philosophical meaning has left me inspired and rejuvenated. Veronika, a beautiful and young women, who has everything that one could not ask for more, a good career, good parents, youth, has decided to put an end to life after finding life to be mundane and repetitive.

Veronika wants to be a pianist, but her loving mom wants her to grow up to do something else, lawyer... something that can earn more, so that she can have a comfortable life. But Veronika cannot refuse this, for her mother love her so, and she has to acede, with the moral obligation that she would hurt her mother if she refuse to. This is a inner conflict of what everyone else expects you to do and what you really want to do.

It is a sad tale, at the start the build-up to Veronika's decision to die, but things took a change when her attempt failed. Landed in a asylum, she started to love life again but only because her remaining life span is left with a couple of days.

Its the only book after Romance of the three kingdom that I couldn't stop. I just had to finish it once i started. Although Tuesaday with Morrie, Kite Runner are excellent books as well, I have to rank this above the rest.

tml is the reopening of cck library. I like the new books and the new environment. It looks cosy and comfortable. The smell and feel of the new books is fantastic. However, i'm not looking forward to tml. Hope it will be over soon. The need to do a library tour for the MP of Hong Kah GRC, CE and director spooks me all over. All the big shots, I never liked to talk to people of high authority status. I just don't. When I was teaching, I try to siam away from the P and the VPs. Go TV and radio talk talk is no issue. Make me play solo for concert, I will be glad to. This, I just can't. They should just shoot me instead of making me go through this. Oh for Zhuang zhi's sake, save me from my greatest fear!

Adventure on Bukit Timah Road, Adams Road, PIE, Newton Circus, CTE, SLE and Ang Mo Kio Central!!!


So much for my long-winded title. I will remember this for the rest of my life, my misadvanture over the weekend. I was lucky to make it back home in one piece, after getting lost along the roads of Singapore.

There is so much thrill to getting lost and not knowing where you are, wat road next to take. Its one hell of a experience that is unforgettable. The lessons you learn from it will etched in my memory for as long as I live. Two things: always plan your route with the street directory, ask your friends for the road if not sure before setting off! Next always have a street directory with you.

For some reason, I decided to take the family car to orchard to meet a friend. Not realising what is in stored for me, I happily start the engine and get off to a smooth start. Driving is nothing, after going for go-karts, without my family's presence, i was taking a smooth cruise.

Now the whole hellish experience started when i took wrong turns, I was totally relying on my memory on the turns and roads and what nots. It turns out that i was wrong.

I took a wrong turn and ended up in adams road. Damn shit, getting to orchard was the last thing on my mind. No fucking shit idea where the hell i'm heading. Getting home is also a uncertainity.

Driving aimlessly, I had to make decisions and choices. Every turn i make, every road i ended up, every highway i'm travelling on becomes extremely crucial. Plus, the adrenaline boost comes when my fuel indicator shows that i have a quarter tank left. I have no idea how much more distance i can travel. My first time driving by myself, and coming to think about it, I was pretty brave to wanna drive on that day.

Putting myself into such a situation, I had to think fast. I was on CTE, things look bad, i'm travelling to ang mo kio, to the central instead. I figured out that I must make the nearest exit and asked for directions and get some gas. That turns out to be the right choice.

I was in a totally unfarmiliar place. I was in Ang Mo Kio central. I saw lots of coffee shops. I have to stop at one and ask for directions.

Two things, where is the petrol kiosk and what highway to get to go back to BKE?

The directions given were not exact. You have to be really observant and alert. I was told to drive straight but it turns out that the kiosk is at the other side of the road, I had to take a u-turn to get there.

Here comes Mr Bean episode, At the petrol Kiosk! The attendent alerted me that the cover of the fuel tank is locked. I saw my father pulled a lever or something before, but I had the slightest idea where it was. I started pulling everything that could be pulled. That includes the engine hood lever, which suddenly flung itself to life. Folllowed by the seat rest, which sways backwards with my weight on it. Everything else moves, except the stubborn tank cover. I could see the stare and bewilderment from the attendent, who might probably doubt if I own the car. I won't be surprised if they start whispering among themselves, with one of them hastily making his way for the phone and the next minute, the police sirens roars and i'm arrested for car theft. What could be funnier if the police officer who steps out of the car is my friend, Officer Chen? He could laugh so much that he starts rolling on the floor and give me an escort home.

That was it. I had to get home. Forget about orchard road. I was on SLE, thanks to more confirmation from other people. SLE is pretty straighforward. I just to go straight all the way, not to be fooled by any other exits that pops out unless its BKE.

The first thing I did on monday, was to get the fucking street directory. With a traumatic experience like that, I would never want to get lost again. And I'm sulky that i couldn't get to orchard. I couldn't take that kind of failure and humiliation so I shall take on the roads again one day and get to orchard. But at least, if someone ever wants to meet me at Ang Mo kio, I had no problems going there. All I have to do is to take the wrong turn at Newton round-about.

More self-discipline please!

I have to remind myself, on my blog to maintain and keep up my self-discipline. Procrastination, laziness and punctuality is my three key weaknesses. I seem to enjoy piling up my work and using MSN at work. This is damn bad. Please scold me if any of you see me online during working hours. I have work to do actually but I just can't help myself but go online and chitty chatty. This bad habit carries forward from NUS days and still manifests itself until this very day. No MSN! No MSN! No more MSN during office hours. Listen music instead if feel the urge to log on. No more MSN! Hoping that I can psycho myself with this entry.

Until recently, yes, I highlight that it was at such a late phase of life, that I have a taste and experience of what happens behind closed door, closed doors of the chitty-chatty among the lovely ladies.

One thing that I'm aware of, is of how girls talk much more than guys. The fascinating discovery of the variety of conversational topics is as great as Fleming's discovery of penicillin to me.

We guys, I mean among my guy friends, our rather constricted scope of small talk, will revolve around how Ronaldo dribbles and scores. Our faces slapped with disappoinment, as we talk about another major upset, Arsenal losing to Stoke City. Then there will be a moment of silence, as we slip down our favourite ale. Oh yes, german light brew is soothing, try brewerkz too, they have got great beer. Guys like me need a moment of silence, where we get to enjoy just being out there, in a pub, drinking. We can't talk all the time, filling every single minute, every single second. Enough of the chat, let me savour my tantalizing ale, please.

I have every reason to believe that our right hemisphere of the brain, involved in speech, is not as developed our female counter-parts. I look at the econ-mini mart auntie at the void deck next block. And she becomes my criteria to judge how gossipy a women can be. In her forties, with her black framed glasses, everything seems to be be interesting to talk about. One thing, she's got a big mouth, i mean literally, like Mo Xiao Ling. So big mouth really carries that negative connoctation, as in a big mouth person, is really "big mouthed". Everytime I see a person who fits the econ auntie, the bearing and her appearance, I can safely conclude that they are of the same class of elites.

Our dearest female counterparts possess such acute observational skills and verbal capacity to talk at such details. I admire such talents, sincerely from the bottom of my heart. Their eye catch such fine details that would have escaped my eye, and they actually remembered it. Recollecting the event itself seems like it happened a few mins ago, even if it could have been a couple of months. Ask them to write a book, I think no problem on that.

Scientists should develop that acumen too, for them to make more interesting discovery. Such fine skills could take me a life-time to perfect.

The importance of having more than one computer

As much as I thought, computers are not as incredible as it seems to be. The promise to deliver is to be not taken for granted. Computers are invented by humans, and how far can it go with that in mind? Humans make mistakes too, and we should be more forgiving to computers.

Always have a back-up, this is one valuable lesson not to be forgotten. With one desktop and a laptop, a office PC, external hardrive and a thumbdrive, things should go pretty well.

My home desktop keeps displaying the CMOS at start-up. The time and date gets reset everytime I shut down my computer. My internet browser turns nasty and mean, displaying a window saying that the certificate of the website is outdated and denies my access. When did the culture of Singaporeans reverence for certification qualification became so pervasive? Even IE 7 is demanding for certificates nowadays! I think the site only has up to O-level, that's why I can't access. That is a great insult to MSN messenger mail. It is one of the many sites that pops up the irritating obstruction.

My virus scans detects a vital software as a virus, a crime as heinous as calling a guy who just done llife-saving CPR on you a leacher.

Owing to computers, we have new job opportunities for maintainence, making sure it works all well and runs smooth.

Remember to extend your warranty on computer products to 3 yrs instead of one. Saves you lots of trouble to buy a new one every year!

The last thing I want to hear from myself is that I'm exhausted by work. I will never want work to dominate my life at this point of time. Not to say i want to slack, but exhaustion means overwork. That's not the kind of life it should be. Its a crazy mentality out there. Overwork=That's the way it should be. Tired from work=Good.

"How's work?"

"So far so good."

"Good, can give you more work."

"..........."

Next time I will say:"Wah, very stress ah.. so much work to do ah...wah i'm working to my limit. My hands r tied leh...."

I needed that kind of therapy. Feeling tired and lethargic, it was nice and worthwhile trip to east coast park. Though distant, I like the sea breeze, the beach, the sea itself and the waves. I have always enjoyed to just watch what people are doing. That's call idling, and my neighbour's cat does that all the time.

Every morning, when I just step off my house, the orange felline can be seen at the door, lying and watching me from the comfort of its mat. It observed my every movement with its rather large eyes, and it looked relaxed. Perhaps that explains the affinity and attraction I have for cats. They seem like one of the creatures which know how to slack and be lazy.

I spent half my day at east coast, loving every minute of it. I felt so much more rejuvenated and energised after that. Ever more ready to get back to work.

I abused my way with words, twist and turn it into some grandeur and magnificent. what insanity to cover up nudity as art. wa ha ha


the curvature and serpentine figure is of the rite degree to offer aesthetic pleasure.......
her pose is natural and yet evocative.
there r many modes of connecting oneself to the soul of the art. one would be via the sense of touch, that we find ourselves drawn to the richness and deptness of the masterpiece.

Hell lot of nonsense

tml morning 97.2fm radio talk show. Its with fen ying again, this time i'm more prepared, i noe what to do, and i noe how its gonna be like. My superior wants me to be media specialist. No issue, just go on and keep on trying until I got the hang of it. Surely, it gets better with more tries. Its coming fri and i'm running out of steam. I need to go to keat hong for recharging. And of course the Xiao Yao You concert! Some alcohol will just do fine to end the nite.

On beauty and appreciating beauty

What defines beauty and what not defines beauty? What is beautiful and what is ugly? This is one of the burning questions I have always habour. I cannot understand how a piece of art or visual specatacle is defined and judged upon. It is subjective, some say but then the question remains unsolved. Is it pleasing to the eye. If you find something pleasing, it is beautiful? So what makes it pleasing. John Armstrong provides some insightful claims to the notion of beauty. Well put across, John claims that beauty is recognised yet so elusive as we try to describe the beauty. So the nature of beauty may not be put across in words so easily. Maybe not.

John's work attempts to instill clarity and explainations to the notion of beauty, enabling us to appreciate beauty. His book put across certain theories proposed by the intellectuals of the past. Pythagoras, clearly impressed by numbers and figures, talks about proportion as the nature of beauty. A certain degree of curvage can be seen as beauty. Functionality can be beauty too. But no perfect theory that fits all observations.

The beauty of John's work, as I came to appreciate, is his attempt to explain subjectivity in appreciating art. Well constructed with such clarity, like a crystal clear lake that allows one to see to the bottom of things, I'm deeply impressed and satisfied with his theory. That subjectivity, the taste of arts, of why different people have different opinion of a piece of artwork, is rather based on a person's character and his perception of things. now the perception of things is not simply reduced to subjectivity, of how different people have different views on things but in terms of his trained eye for details. as he explains, Some people are sensitive, the eye captures details whereas some do not. those who can, spot the details in the object is able to capture the essence and to understand the piece. those who dont merely pass it off and cease to appreciate the work. To appreciate, one must look close enough, hard enough, look for the details: the balance and mixture of colours, the lines and curvatures, the background and the foreground. The emotion and the expression of the protraits can be expressed through the eye and the posture of the character.

With the Singapore Biennale ongoing, I'm rather keen to be on a lookout for the exhibits. Yet contemporary art is something rather new to me. The experience to this new untouched field is going to be interesting . not to say that i have become a qualified critique overnite but I can say that Armstrong's theories is good enough to me to craft some new means of appreciation. I will look forward to the surprises installed for the visitors.

Xia suay now better than xia suay when u r a lao jiao. That's what I live by. In the past, I really dread making mistakes and so avoid certain situations when I will be prone to making mistake. No use one, still the problem will surface sooner or later. Tml, I will be the speaker for a short talk. Big boss around, nvm... just go and show face, talk nonsense and speak gibberish. If I embarass myself, just take it la. At nite, go drink, get drunk, go and puke, forget everything... next day a fresh and brand new day.

Ah yah, 97.2 FM again ah.... talk cock, sing song again loh...

Y am i writing like that today, har? Crazy man!

Many a times, its the simple stories that touch the hearts. I share a story that I heard from a workshop. And this moving story touches me deeply.

Its master Professor Ueno, loves Hachiko alot. "Good Dog, Hachiko. You are the best dog in the all of Japan."

Everyday, Hachiko sees Professor Ueno off to work at the Shibuya Station and would return to the station to accompany Professor Ueno returning from work. What a smart dog Hachiko is!

But one day, Professor Ueno did not come back from work. Haciko waits and waits, only for the station master to chase him away. Hachiko comes back the next day again to wait for Professor Ueno.

Hachiko waits. Professor Ueno had died of a heart attack at work. Hachiko does not understand. All he knows is that Professor Ueno knock off at 3pm so without fail, Hachiko waits faithfully for his return.

Not even Yasuo, the young boy who takes care of Hachiko could convince Hachiko.

Now 10 yrs has past, Hachiko waits. And he died on that very spot, where he waited for Professor Ueno, at the Shibuya station.

Hachiko shows us the very gems of life: loyalty, devotion and love. So rare it is, so precious this is that it moves us deeply and touch our heart. People at the station all knew about Hachiko's tale. They decided to build a monument to commerate him. I heard that couples in Japan propose in front of Hachiko's statue. If ever I have a chance to go Japan, I must go to the Shibuya station to see for myself Hachiko's statue.

Hmmm...... wonder what r some of the stuffs i can do after work to occupy myself. I don't really like the idea of watching tv to sleep. Some kind of excercise should be good. Its not tat easy to find sports khaki nowadays. Trekking, cycling, swimming, tennis? It's tricky. This are mostly day sports. Is there something known as nite sports? Also quite boring to do sports alone loh.........

My my, that thought has never crossed my mind. I mean what?!?! I becoming a father and have a child that will bear some kind of resemblance to me. Oh man, that turns me off. I must say when you ask me to make a choice I prefer kittens to babies. I don't know what to do in front of the toddlers that people will find cute. Well, at least I know how to play with a kitten, a nice pat on its head, it comes to you and sticks to you, rubbing its body against your legs. I wouldn't know what to do with a human infant. I'm at lost.

I can't make that kind of funny faces. Just cant't, and don't want to. I'm glad that my sis agrees with me that babies are not as fun as kittens. At least to this point of time, that's wat i think.

And so I come into contact with another person who numbs herself with being busy. I'm not too convinced that this is the right way of life. Not that she whines about loneliness has to do with that but I decided to give it a little thought and ponder about the kind of life most ideal. I don't think its a overstatement to say that people keep themselves busy so that they don't feel bored. And then that boredom could have a lot to do with loneliness though they are two different things.

Tried and tested, I realise something lacking in a lifestyle like this. I recollect the moments in NUS, that I decided to make full use of my time by getting myself into one busy man. 6 modules in one sem, 2 tuition assignments to go along with this delicious menu of no time to myself. Y? Because I got nothing to do with the time I have for myself! It's a good way to drain yourself so that you stop thinking bout loneliness. It cures the symptoms but not the disease. At the end of the day, you will be damned tired so that you won't even have time for any negative thoughts. But looking back, there is some sense of lost and disorientation. What was that all for? I asked myself. I don't think I was satisfied at anything at the end of the day. I wasn't particularly exhilarated or anything. I don't think I feel the rewards from it. One sem felt like half a sem, that's just how it feels. I wonder is that how life should be?

So I have learnt that life is not about keeping yourself occupied for the sake of keeping yourself occupied. And I have realised that work is not the solution to happiness too. Toiling all day long is not the way of life. Work life and personal life balance is crucial. Those who commit too much time to work seems to me not an ideal kind of life. Those who enjoy too much and not committed to work is not having a right life style too. Its about finding the right balance.

Hang on to your seat and have a good grip with your steering wheel. You will need a good dose of courage to stimulate the speed devil in you. Go-kart is one hell of an experience. Don't be fooled by the run-down look of the miniature kart. It may seem a little kiddish from its looks but it sure can go fast. A truly thrilling experience, you have a feel of how it will be like when you are in for the speed. As you pump up the acceleration, the engine roars, the kart vibrates and everything around you starts to go pass you faster. The speed comes with the control; it's a test of skills and guts, to go fast at the corners and yet maintaing control. As i attempt to mimic the moves in the shows and movies of drifting and driving without breaking, I realise it seems easy but hard to do in reality. My kart started spinning out of control when I negotiate a sharp bend with full speed. Nevertheless I enjoyed the experience of speeding, it's something worth to try again in the future.

I have long wanted to write this post. In it, I shall pour out all the contents and left nothing behind. So often we whine about, make a big fuss about it, and we just can't seem to get it right. No no, we are not desperate, there's a clear distinction between despair and desire.

Everytime I read Sumiko's rantings, I can't help to feel that we could be good friends, maybe she can even be my next god-sister. Oh yes, Sumiko writes on the Strait Times column. Both of us have something in common, that we make a big fuss out of loneliness and our self-consciousness and anxiety escalates to such high levels that we are almost narcissistic. It is self-comforting to some extent that there's someone out there who is like me, but it's not something one can smile and be proud about.

Back to loneliness, I wonder why is it so hard for me to tell myself to get on with my life. Sumiko is in her 30s, she has every reason to feel left out when her friends are, settled with their own family. Not that I'm the only one single among my friends but then again, it just doesn't make it feel any better. Life's kind of boring, really quite dull. A companion makes the journey much more enjoyable, all my friends agree with the notion except for a few, but finding that companion is a big question.

Please guys, how can I buy that? That you are fine with being single! Pretentious cunning people you are! You self-decieving, this doesn't fool me. It always happen. You say you not interested and that next minute you got attached. Crap shit!

Stop saying that when the moment is right, the right girl will come. So what, chio bus will fall from the sky and end up on my lap?!?!

I went for a SDU organised event with a guy friend, for a paint ball and go-kart event. The main point is not that I'm joining a SDU event. Now what i'm gonna say next, is that I didn't expect the crowd to be made up of mainly people in their 30s. Hmmmm..... misfits!!!!!!! But nope that's not the main point either. How do I find the activity? My most sincere answer: Good, but I sure hope I don't end up going SDU when I'm in my 30s. I have got 5 more years, counting down now............

Love it! I can't control myself when it comes to high school musical. Its something I will go wild over. Once, me and my friend started playing the song and started dancing on the road like we are in some kind of musical. We were out of control for that short moment.

The movie is showing in Oct and I won't miss it. Sharpay, u r simply lovely!

blogskins.com is a bad place to find blog skin. My current blog skin stinks. It does not induce my appetite for blogging. Its so uninviting.

Walt disney channel tween sensation hannah montanah alias miley cyrus is on the news again. She released a new album, breaking away from the teenage genre and trying to get everyone not to see her as the little girl she is. First racy photos, then breaking away from her iconic disney symbol of good and nice down-to-earth girl . Bad news. Look at britney spear's "not a girl, not yet a women". Screwed man, those who's eager to show themselves to be mature tend to be going towards the downhill of their career as well. Good luck miley, the media will be gloating over your misadventures!

The audience roared, the emotions were high. Pride is at stake here, as the physical and the mental strength of the players are tested. To play in front of a crowd of 30,000; the pressure is unbearable.

The striker attempts a shot from a difficult angle. It looks like its going in but the fine reflexes of the keeper manage to put a stop to it. Quality save, superb keeping. But wait! what's going on? I think I just saw the goalkeeper scores an own goal, with the ball into his hands, back into his own net. What a terrible, horrendous mistake! The supporters are not very happy with what they are seeing. Horrible, horrible, It's just not his day! No 1. Javier cannot afford to make such a mistake in a big game like this. Let's hope we can see something better from him the next time he plays. Players like him falter in the big games. Fine lad, I think he just need more experience and exposure.

So on to my 2nd part of if the ODAC camp which took place from 04/07/08 - 07/07/08

Day three. In the morning, we had games at ECP. Got disgusting game, also got very engaging game. Another of the piggyback a girl game. This time, we piggyback a girl, run into the sea, let the girl fill up a bottle of sea water, and pour it into a bottle on the shore that is poked with small holes! That means we have to be really fast to be able to to fill up the entire bottle! Halfway, We started to dunk the OGLs and GLs into the waters. Very xiong. I was so shag by then. Main highlight of the day is dragon boat. It turns out to me that dragonboat is more fun than nite-cycling to my surprise. You never know whether you like it unless you try it. This is one classic example. The instructors taught us the techniques of paddling, and the way to hold the paddle. We did dragon boat at the kallang basin. Dragonboat is very different. You get to have a taste of it, really. My boatmates in front, keeps splashing water at me when she paddles. And we need to synchronise with each other, timing must be good, must have mo qi, so that the paddling is efficient. It require team-effort, not cycling. We get to experience the thrill of a dragonboat race. The adrenaline rush, the morale, the urge to win, was enough to push us to put in our very best. And we do something and give it with everything we have, that feeling is good. We were rewarded as we turn out to be the winner of the race among the five groups. It's damn shiok, the sensation of winning is memorable. As if time stops, you dont want that sense of goodness to escape from you.

Day 4, paintball. Its a battle simulation game. Very fun, something tat i also really like to have a feel of it. Every player gets a gun, and the gun shoots out paint instead. Two teams on the battle field, with barrels, chest, barricades for cover, to dodge enemy fire. Two objectives in the game, one is to hit opponent target, it's a small orange target, and the next is to grab a box, placed at the front line, and get to back to the base. This is the most xiong game, i find, i was trying to run as fast to get the box, but always ganna shot. Once u get hit, u got to run back to the first-aid area before u r "revived" and u can be playing the game again. Ther's 2 rounds, my grp won the first, and we lost the 2nd round. I ganna shot many times because i'm the one trying to grab the box, the primary target for the opponent. Got bruises over this places. that's y its "PAINT" = "PAIN" ball!

End of the camp! It makes me feel like a freshie again. I enjoyed all the moments and activities, showering in a rather open place, where people can see, tasted sea water, sat around a campfire, had crappy cheers and campfire songs, guys try to act like chio bu contest... so much more to say.... that i can say.

When i reached home, the silence and serenity of my house, got me taken back. Feel a little lost, i asked, where is my tentage? Where is my OG members who will be suggesting games to occupy the free time?

The 4 days NUS ODAC camp was fun and I must blog about it before i forget all the details. All this while, when i was working in the library, i started to think that i didn't get the fun I should be getting in NUS when i was still a undergrad. Stumling upon the ODAC website, I decided to give it a try to experience a orientation camp, which i never did before. And most of all, the camp comes in an ideal package of programes that I always have been interested but never got to do.

First day, treking trip. We started off with king albert park, in bukit timah. It's an abandoned railway track. We bash through vegetation, walking on grass path, somehow my OGL, Edward was stung by some unknown insect, probably a wasp. He's really unlucky to be stung at the begining of the trek. All of us got to poke fun of his toe for the remaining of the camp. It was swelling up, twice the size of an average thumb should be. We were already being warned in the begining that there's a muddy path that is powerful enough to suck our footwear in. It is short tunnel, but with enough light to see the inside, partially dark. The ground is flooded with water on both sides, making the whole tunnel only walkable in the center. Making things worse the mud is really thick. Planting my foot in, i feel like as if it was a strong adhesive, not letting go of my sandels. I have to tug really hard to pull it out, producing the loud "smack" sound every time i do it. My GL Shania was so cute (Ka Wai!). She was saying out how scared she is of the darkness when we were in the tunnel, I had to hold onto her hand and comfort her. At nite, we had canal walk. as in we really did a canal walk in one of the long gangs! but its situated in a forested area, along the roads of ulu pandan, where the old SMM is. The part we start to get wet begins once we enter the tunnel. It's totally dark inside, can't even see your own hand with a torch light, the water level reaches somewhat underneath the knee level, occassionally above knee level. It was definitely a different experience, something you never get to do usually. I like the feeling of the cool water, and the thrill of exploration, plus the crowd does add on to the atmosphere. We camp outdoors in west coast that night. That was my outdoor camping after 5 yrs, since i leave the ns. Couldn't really sleep, but did manage to sleep a little.

Day 2, scavanger hunt. Given a map and a piece of written clue, we have to find checkpoints in the area of east coast. One of the station was in island resort, its a chalet and its held at the checkpoints. This checkpoint damn xiong! I should say the whole camp really drained me out physically, but I had so much fun with the activities! Coming back, guys were suppose to piggyback a girl, with the girl holding onto a small pail. The rest of the grp members suppose to stand behind the line and try to aim the ball into the pail. So xiong. I never thought i could piggyback a girl, actually I was doubting myself whether i can do it or not, but turns out i can leh! haha. Army helps, i suppose. We had nite-cycling tat nite, navigating the map to get to the checkpoints. Most of the checkpoints are makan places. We stopped to have supper along the stations.

Then it happens, by then i was too tired, we were still cycling at the wee hours of 4am, plus the rushing around and the piggyback, it was too much to take. I fell with my bike when we were returing to the campsite, in East Coast Park itself. I was standing on the pedals of the bicycle, the seat rest was hurting my butt, and i need to raise myself for my butt to take a short break. Its a freak accident, which means it shouldn't happen. I just felt that i loss my footing and started to lose balance. I fell down, having laceration on my hands and knee. I got this big bruise over my right knee cap now. But its damn fine, looking at the bruise is a reminder of the night cycling. And that makes me feel good because i get to do something I always wanted to! I always wanted nite cycling because i think its a different experience from day cycling.

I wonder when i can see this person again? It felt like we know each other for many years though we only had fleeting moments. It was like as if we could share about everything in this world, and have nothing to hide. Such genuine relations is rare to come by, more precious than all the riches you can ever gather in this world. This connection --- I truly appreciate. To be truly heard, to be truly listening as well. I wonder how many of us can do that.

Morrie died. I cried. I lost a teacher. I have no idea how Morrie looked like. I have never seen him. I wasn't even by his side when he left. But Mitch told me everything. Morrie was a teacher everyone wanted to have...... There's not gonna be anyone close enough to be another Morrie. Yes.... good old Morrie....

"What are u doing"

"I finished the book, Morrie died. He was such a nice man"

"You know it would come, dont u? You know Morrie will die at the end. You know it all the while, dont you?"

"I know..... but I........... I can't help it........."


I played the scene in my head. Morrie was on his bed. He could hardly speak. Mitch was there. He saw Morrie decay away, The ALS he suffered shrunk his muscles, his body getting smaller everdyay. But that didn't made him feel sorry for himself. He told us all about life. What life should be. How we place value in all the wrong things. Morrie taught me how precious every moment is. I'm grateful for that.

It was time for him to go. Mitch didn't know how to say goodbye. Morrie's feeble hands held Mitch's, placing it on his own chest, his heart. "Mitch...., this is how we say goodbye........"

Morrie died in serenity. And that is how he wanted it to be.

But I know Morrie lived on in our hearts. Mitch made it possible with the book. His tale, his tuedays with Morrie shall always touch our hearts, filling our hearts with the warmth of humanity and love.

The book will be there, in that particular shelf, at that particular spot. And I know that the next reader who picks it up, would have very much wished that he had a teacher like Morrie.

I chanced upon a dying man. He was from a book, but he didn't turn out to be just a character in the book. He is my teacher, though i didn't know him at all. And that we are separated by vast lands and seas, but now he's in the other world, a world which we would all get to go someday.

He taught me many things, and one of the things is that death is always around. And death may just come anytime. But that's not something we have to fear. Appreciate death and only with that we appreciate life. Because time has its limit and it doesn't go on forever, we have to start to lead our lives meaningfully. Have you ever asked the question that if you were to die tml, what's that one thing you want to do the most? If u noe that time is running out, would u not make the full use of ur remaining lot of it? After-all, we only have one life, there's no 2nd chance. One thing for sure, i would not want to die with regrets.

I want to travel. That's one of the things I hope to do. Perhaps Japan, Taiwan or China. Not Europe. For I'm not really attracted by Europe. Neither Australia, at the moment, though people had said how nice Australia can be. I'm fascinated by the East. I want to see what the world out there is. The experience is invaluable. My horizons to be stretched, to see and feel things I never have done before. And i'm not going with a tour grp as I have been to one before and it sets a restriction to my plans of exploration. The sense of exploration of strange and new places is an exciting one.

So sad am I that I do not have the capacity to travel yet, with the time and money I have. I just do not have the right company, a grp of people with the sense of adventure within them. The saddest thing in life is to look at pictures people have taken, that showed how happy they r in a foreign land.

That sense of happiness is so near and yet so far.

Reading “The Alchemist”, sets of a series of deep thought. Profound and powerful, I had to think about its implications on me. It had an effect on me. And it was to make to start to think about my life. The easy way out for me was to blatantly say that my way of life is daoism. But it was an excuse after all, for i never wanted to think about i wanted in my life. So I embrace Daosim to proclaim a simple life. A simple life is a life without change. Without change, there is no need to face changes. And that is how some people chose to live. They don't know how to handle changes. They do not want to face such a situation.

Everyone, when they are young, sets out for themselves to achieve something. They had such high hopes and inspirations. It was as if nothing could stop them. But as time passes, they lost that vision, they get tied down by the need for food and water. They start to forget, they start to disbelief, and they start to be disillusioned. Finally, they gave up, losing all the vigour and energy they used to have. These dreams as crazy as it can be, it can be anything. Some people dream to be candy sellers and aspire to be one. So they became one. Some believed that they can change the world in the way they want it to be, and they did.

Some are content with just dreaming. These dreams keep them alive and hopes. In their minds, they play out the perfect scene of their dreams. But dare not to live their dreams. Y? Because once they have done it, there's nothing left for them to do. What else can they do after living their dream? To have another dream? And what is next once you have fulfilled that dream?

An Arabian merchant wanted to go to mecca for pilgrimage. It was his reason to live. But he didn't go mecca. He imagined himself in mecca, along with the other followers. He witnessed the magnificent sight. Something he had never seen, the grandeur incomparable to any other sight he had seen. But alas, if he had gone to mecca for real, he would die of disappointment if it was not as great as he thought it would be. So he didn't wanted to go to mecca. He's happy with dreaming about it. To fulfil one's dream, is to destroy one's dreams. For it marred and damaged the perfection you have for it. It would never be as you had thought it was to be.

The boy dreamt of travelling. To see the world and learn about the world. He didn't want to learn about what God has for him. He refused to enter priesthood as his father had arranged for him. So he became a sheperd to wander around the world.

"To live one's dream is to fulfil one's destiny. "

I never had any dreams before. I never knew what i want in life. What should I do with my life?

I like my job, as a librarian. It gives me time and space of my own to do the things I want to do. The work is good, much better than a teacher. Yet, I'm so lost with what to do with my free time. So much so that I'm starting to feel the void and emptiness everytime I come home from work. So much so that I'm lossing sleep and feeling down. I need to engage in some enriching social activity out of work, but what is it I want?

Genre: Non-Fiction, Conduct of life
Title: The importance of living
Author: Lin, Yutang, 1895-1976.
Publisher: Singapore : Cultured Lotus, 2001.

Call number: English 128 LIN
Available at most libraries

Book review:

Witty and humourous, Lin Yutang managed to entertain and yet at the same time, shared great insights to the way of life. Don’t let the title fool you into thinking that it’s a book that involves deep thought and written in the abstract philosophical prose of ancient Chinese classics. Very much on the other end of the road, Lin combined anecdote, parables, stories and jokes to make the most serious matters into light-hearted ones. The importance of life is readable to anyone from all walks of life. Daoism and Confucianism shape Lin’s views, but Lin is mostly a Daoist. He preaches the Chinese Daoist way of life of idleness and humour as the highest ideal of life, successfully reflecting on what happiness should be and how to really enjoy life. Lin wants us to appreciate simplicity and he actually talked in details on very ordinary stuffs like the best way to drink tea, on lying on a bed, on sitting on a chair or even how and what to eat.

He gives such a real representation of life that anyone can identify with and marvel at the way he brings across certain issues. Lin likes to write fictions short stories, many a times extremely ridiculous and nonsensical. Be reminded that though many stories draws from a touchy religious context, Lin does not go overboard and that we ought to seriously give it a pinch of salt. In the story, Adam and Eve lived together. But one day Adam just got so sick of Eve nagging at him that he went to God and asked God to take Eve away. So Adam grew lonely without Eve to the extent that he could not bear it any longer and went to God, asking for Eve back. This cycle took place so many times that eventually God got so sick that he washed his hands off the whole matter, with Adam and Eve stuck together forever! Lin does it again; this potential comedy central stand-up comedian gave such a realistic account of human desire of company and freedom at the same time. This particular story leaves the deepest impression, and oh……… how so much of it that I can identify with it!

Lin is a contemporary equivalent of Zhuangzhi, one of the ancient Chinese great thinkers who shaped Daoism. For those who have no idea of who Zhuangzhi is, do read Lin’s works. Lin writes as if he was Zhuangzhi, the style and humour, the way they look at worldly matters. I can’t help to suspect if he was Zhuangzhi himself, only to be writing in English instead of Chinese. Lin’s writing is pleasant to read and easy to follow, and exceptionally funny. He frees us from our own entrapping mind muddled and dull with unimportant matters of power, fame and wealth. Lin wants us to liberate ourselves, to free our souls from the pursuit of world riches. To nourish the spirit and mind by embracing simplicity and treat matters less seriously. Never had I laughed and smiled so much when I read. Reading this book is simply relaxing and soothing. It teaches us that the world is already a beautiful place and be appreciate of what we have. It is a must-read for Singaporeans who always complained of a stressful life.

The importance of life is a good book that presents to readers a practical, applicable and accurate world of Chinese Daoism through Lin’s eyes. With my deepest reverence to comment on a writer who has influenced me so much, Lin is inevitably one of the greatest writers of the century.

Someone posted me a question. Why have examinations? How it came about? Who invented the examinations? I did General history of China in NUS and worked right up from my knowledge. What I knew was the the purpose of the imperial civil service exam is a way to select suitable candidates for vacancies in the bureacracy. What I didn't noe was that the invention of written exams can be attributed to China. Kudos to Confucianism that now we have to have exams in NUS and other institutions. It seems that the West was influenced by China to introduce exams as well.





"The Chinese examination system is the earliest written examinations. China is the first country that uses such a system to pick eligible candidate for officialdom. According to the Encyclopedia Britannica (11th and 14th ed.), “the oldest known system of examinations in history is that used in China for the selection of officers for the public service(c. 1115B.C.), and the periodic tests which they undergo after entry (c. 2200B.C.)” It was said that exams had its place already during the Zhou Dynasty (1100BC). Government officials in office and candidates for appointment were examined. During the powerful reign of the Han dynasty (221B.C. to 220A.D), there were measures taken to standardize the informal past practice of examination into a concise and orderly structured system.

During this period of time there is no found record of the existence of a formal examination system in civilizations of Greece, Rome, Egypt, Persia, Mesopotamia and Assyria.

Development of examinations in the West is very late compared to China. There were no formal systems of examination in Greece and Rome, nor in the Cathedral and Monastery schools till the year 1215, which is the earliest date given for western examinations. This kind of examination was mainly oral examinations, where candidates spoke and express their answer verbally. Written exams started only in the 18th century in the West.

The examination system in China plays a very important role in the Chinese society. The civil service examination system developed gradually over the years. It is through the success at the examination that the Chinese scholars gained official posts in the government that gave them power, fame and wealth.

The examinations were based on Confucian classics and nothing else. Other fields are not subjects of study for the Chinese Scholars. Confucianism stressed the cultivation of morality. For two thousand years, there had not been any changes to the focus of the exams. Scholars study for one purpose in mind, to pass government examinations in order to earn an official appointment in the government. The examination system is the only way of entering into politics. The Chinese people also regarded scholars highly with respect.

On the other hand, this system of examination serves a purpose to the government. It proved to be a cultural unity tool. Scholars preparing for the exams studied the same books, memorized the same Confucian teaching, and as a result adapted the same set of traditions and cultural values. It formed the base of the preservation of the Chinese culture of Confucianism. This is one of the underlying reasons why the China civilization could survive so many years as one of the oldest civilization in the world."

Sources:
JSTOR

I love this database. I used it in NUS, now I'm using it for my work also. Almost can find anything.

This is my first book review, as a librarian. If I have made you interested in the book, I have succeeded in my objective. Hahaha.


Genre: Fiction- Fairy Tales (AYP)
Title: The happy prince and other stories
Author: Wilde, Oscar, 1854-1900
Series Title: Penguin popular classics
Publisher: Middlesex: Penguin Books Ltd, 1994
Notes: “Complete and unabridged”--cover

Call number: English WIL

Review:

Think that you are too old for fairy tales? You may have heard of the story of the happy prince when you were young but why deny yourself of a chance to read this wonderful tale again? Take a break from the world of reality that is stifling our mind of fantasy. Immerse yourself in the stories told by Wilde, as his provocative tales evokes your wildest imagination. The happy prince is an extremely powerful piece of writing by Wilde, which is compelling to read. Through Wilde’s painted imaginary world and vivid description, the emotional response provoked within each piece of writing not only touches the reader, but also infused within it, an underlying message of wisdom and morality. This version of Wilde’s writings is more suitable for older age groups rather than children, owing to the complexity of the story plot development of certain tales and the old English style of writing being used. It may not be that comprehensible for young children. It is the circulated simplified version of Wilde’s fairy tales that are more reader-friendly and popular among kids. Have forbearance that happy endings are not always found in Wilde’s fairy tales.

This Penguin Classics comprises of a number of short stories. “The Happy Prince” is the best tale out of the collection. The Happy Prince, a statue adorned with riches, witnessed the sufferings of poverty and hunger. Filled with compassion and love, he chose to give away the pieces of jewels and gold on him, through the help of a swallow, to the needy. The citizens of the town, ignorant of the happy prince’s noble acts, chose to remove him and melt down the ugly statue that is deprived of its former beauty.

In “The nightingale and the rose”, the nightingale gave up its life for the greater good of love. A young man was helplessly in love with a young maiden but she would only go out with him if he present to her a red rose, which could not be found during the time of the year. The nightingale overheard this and went out on its own to search for the red rose. The price, was high, the rose could only be grown using its own blood!

The young prince, from “the young king”, had strange dreams on the night before the coronation about the sufferings of his people. He refused to put on his robe and crown as he realized that these adornments came at the inextricably unjust price of his people’s blood and sweat. Despite the scorns and bitter remarks from his assembly of knights and even disapproval from the bishop, the young prince humbly put on plain tunic and cloak as his robe, a shepherd’s staff as his scepter and wild briar as his crown. Would the people of the state come to accept this young prince with the raiment of a beggar as the rightful king?

“The fisherman and the soul” is an imaginative tale of a young man who chose to give up his soul, his shadow, in order to live with a mermaid that he loved. In this mystic and magical tale, the man’s abandoned shadow picked up a personality and life of its own, as it travels around the world to gather riches and treasures to tempt his owner into accepting it back. Would the man be able to remain steadfast to his love and resist this temptation?

This collection of short stories is certainly worth reading, despite its old English writing. Unlike thick novels, little time is needed to finish the book. It is a good catch for you if you can’t afford much time to read. Of course, if you don’t find a particular story appealing, you can skip it, but I wouldn’t think you could bear to do so.

There are two things that i should not forget. And there they are.

Our Mission: "The National Library Board's mission is to expand the learning capacity of the nation so as to enhance national competitiveness and to promote a gracious society. "

In the next five years: "We aim to bring the world's knowledge to Singapore to create a positive social and economic impact."

I am GLJ (Great Librarian Javier)

A lot of briefing on the first day of work. I know my schedule and i'm starting to feel the workload already. It's gonna be very busy from now on, as I will be having extending out activities to the public, meetings, workshops, appraisals, moving from one library to another. Though my base is CCK, i will be going to different libraries in the west to work on projects. Now, I'm given the privilege to observe from the side-line and learn as much as I can. I'm gonna take over the duties of the current Librarian at the end of the month as she's relocating to another library as her base library.

No matter how daunting it looks, I am GLJ! 25 yr old! Nice to meet you.

I heard this from a Buddhist play. The song was nice, the music touched my heart, the lyrics were comforting. But I could not replicate the exact words, try as I might. I used my own words, but this is the message delivered across.

"You may be having a bad time now. You are suffering and the pain is unbearable, but this will all soon pass. The suffering is not permanent, it will soon go away, like happiness, it will soon go away. This is all impermanent. Nothing stays forever. No matter how painful it is now, it will leave you. The pain, as soon as you realise, is in the past. All you have to do, is to let go, let go of everything. Then you will not feel the pain anymore. "

Shit.

A monk once said this to the audience, "Life is filled with problems. Everyone has problems. It just that we face different problems. Monks have monk problems. Students have student problems. Married guys have marriage problems. Single guys have single guy problems. Life's filled with shit! And u carry that stinking shit around u. What do u do with that shit? Sometimes it just drop on u, from the sky, or from nowhere. Sometimes, other people throw their shit at u. What can we do about it? I suggest that u turn that shit into a fertiliser and used it in ur garden to grow plants. And hey, all that shit is not so bad after all."

I couldn't have said it better myself.

The month had past and it was a good break from any form of work. Probably I'm a little nervous about tml or due to the wu long tea i drank in the afternoon, I'm not ready to hit my bed and get unconscious for 7hrs. A little lack of sleep is not gonna do me much harm anyway. My entire month of sufficient sleep can easily offset the sleep debt. What the hell did I do for the month? It seems to crept pass silently before I came to realisation. No work is good. it relaxing. No work is bad too. No money. No income. Cannot do a lot of things. So I find solace in the comfort of my own house and do lots of reading. I think I achieved the most, counting by the number of books I completed. All chim books. I didn't retain much of what I read. Nvm.... that's me. Stephen Hawking's "A brief history of time" claims to be readable by avergae layman but I do have problems with comphrension of the bizzare phenomenal microscopic world. Not much better with the macro world of black holes and stars. About black holes, I only remember one line..... "Black holes are not so black afterall". It leaves the deepest impression on me because I always thought that black holes cannot be seen. That's y they are called black holes. It turns out that this "black" hole emit some kind of radiation and can be detected after all. Physics has become so complex and technical that only the expert can apprehend. A outsider of the field like me can only scratch my head and ponder about what I just read. Not that it's much of a help.

Next, I'm proud to proclaim that I finally read my first Buddhist sutra. A translated english version of "Lotus Sutra" by Burton Watson. My parents are Buddhist, so naturally I'm a Buddhist too. I know a little about the teachings and central ideas of Buddhism and I habour thoughts of verifying my knowledge through a sutra. I had big findings from the book. But, sad to say, all this are more to an academic point of view, it's easy to talk about stuffs, and say that u understand something, but it is totally different in terms of carrying out what you think is correct.

This story illustrates my point. A zen story goes like this. An old man asked a monk what is the way of living. The monk replied, "Do good deeds. Avoid evil deeds." The old man laughed and said, "Even a 7 yr old kid noes this!" The monk replied," But how many people can actually do this? "

At the end of the day, The lotus Sutra talks nothing about the Lotus Sutra. Perplexed? The reality and truth is not to be spoken, but felt and understood. Lotus Sutra, 28 chapters in all, talks bout circumstances where the Sutra should be spoken and benefits of the Sutra but never mention what the sutra preaches. It's like a book where there is only the preface but no true content. Its written in a poetic form, depicts a imagined scene where Buddha was speaking to all sorts of creatures, not just the human, but also non-human. If u asked me whether I have understood the Sutra, yes and no. I understood the words. But I did not capture the true wisdom of it. Afterall, the sutra, as it claims, is the gateway to attaining Buddhahood. Any normal layman will be confused, perplexed and troubled by it. I'm a normal layman. But I'm conclusive about the central theme of emptiness in Buddhism. I spotted the parallel doctrines with that Of Daoism, in which likewise, calls for the elimnation of distinctions. Distinctions are implied when words are used. So to rid of distinctions, one must rid of words. So the truth cannot be represented by words because distinctions do not exist in truth.

Reality is not as one percieved but there is more than one reality. Humans can only observe one of it. Shockingly, quantum mechanics spoke of a similar point about a dualism. That an electron can act as a particle, or as a wave. This means that the observer affected the result of the test. Before an observer comes along and look at the electron, it can either behave as a particle, or a wave, but once an observer comes and look at the electron, the electron have to fall into either one of the two states, either a particle, or an wave, depending on the circumstances applied.

It is particularly alluring to me that I would like to draw a link between non-distinction, highligthed in the Dao and Buddhist doctrine and quantum mechanics of dualism, where we can no longer be comfortable to give a definite claim to whether an electron is a particle or an wave. This inevitably leads to a non-distinction micrscopic world, where electrons are ruled and governed by probabilties. No matter how tempting it may be and that quantum mechanics may explain many things, but theories are not permanent conclusive claims. A theory can be disproved, when results differ from predictions. The old theory can make way for a new theory. It may not be a wise idea afterall to say that Zhuangzhi, a man so much ahead of his time, had predicted quantum mechanics.

Valentine's Day Blues

It is the right ambience and you hope that it can be like this forever. The candlelight dinner is perfect not because of the excellent meal, but the person who is sitting opposite of you. Valentine's Day is great if only you have a date. It's the particular day that highlights the day that you are still single. It brings that out even more when u walk on the street and realise that couples look at each other lovingly and ladies holding roses. Valentine's Day is boring for singles and u really feel more sucky than usual. Its just not that day for us. V-Day not the day for us, singletons. It's for couples. So I have no idea how I can pass the day seeing couples enjoying their moments together.

Missing my life


I have been stuck to an awfully boring life before the CNY period. Because of my cough, I'm restricted to numerous activities. I'm rotting at home and it could have been worst if not for CNY. I got to go out and talk like I have never talked before. I miss my social life and I really hope that I could get well really soon. Miss drinking, miss the clubs and alcohol, miss the tea house, miss kbox, miss ECP..... so many things I wanna do!

Acute bronchitis


To claim that I'm allergic to student is an overstatement. I'm prone to coughing, since young. But to be in a position of a teacher, just expose myself to more chances of chronic coughing since I need to project my voice. But as a student, i cough for the slightest reasons, drinking from water-cooler, drinking cold drinks and well, you understand my point. I'm just vulnerable to bacteria infection in my upper respiratory tract, which in short URTI. But infection can spread downwards and you call that bronchitis. I'm currently diagnosed with acute bronchitis but don't let the name mislead you into thinking its something really bad. It is.....annoying and heavy coughing but its not as serious as TB or pneumonia. Just coughing cause by bacteria that may take up to 3 to 4 weeks to recover. Yupz, and my doc prescribed me a damn heavy dose of antibiotic which behave like a nuclear warhead. It wipes out every single thing in path and my poor body is gonna take up serious damage from that. But there is no sign that my cough's getting any better. Acute bronchitis is unpleasant in this sense that you can't expect to see yourself improving even if the bacteria's not there anymore. I suppose the inflammation takes a much longer time to recover. Well, I still hope that I can get better and in time for the CNY festive season. Other wise, I will be sitting in a corner drooling at the goodies but can't have a bite of my own. That will be so tantalising..........

I have went for countless interviews, but I tend to overstated my figures. Anything above 4 is like countless to me. Anyway, yes I have went for countless interviews, to the extent that it is effortless. I used to make preparations and write scripts for my interviews. But the questions do not vary much for the different interviews and I will end up giving most or less the same kind of answer. I went for the NLB interview last week. I went for another one at ASTAR yesterday. All is left for me is to wait for an answer from them. However, out of the 2 options, i am more keen to take up the NLB post. The reason is clear. I am no longer a Science person. I'm a Arts person. I spent my spare time reading great literary works from old novels like "Romance of three kingdoms" to works 鲁迅(Lu Xun) nowadays. I chance upon secondary school texts in schools and I teared when i read the touching essays in the book. It is funny that the emotional sensation has changed. When I was a secondary school student, the chinese textbook left me unfazed. Now, i feel it in those stories. I'm feeling the story, not just simply reading it. I love reading this much. What better way to express my love for Chinese than to be engaged in a profession that allows me to work with books.

It will be fulfiling to me, through my efforts, that people start to aprreciate Chinese and stop having the wrong attitude towards Chinese. Chinese is not a tool for people to do business in China. That is just superficial. My own experience tells me that the love for the language is nurtured without conscious effort through the exposure to the different aspects of the chinese culture. It comes in a package, and one thing inevitably leads to another. I look forward to the day that I become a librarian.

King of Canto Pop

Sam Hui's holding a concert in Singapore on March. I doubt anyone of my age listens to his songs anymore. He may be an icon of the past but that does not devalue his songs. I find his songs to be nice and funny most of the times. The humour is in his lyrics, listen closely and you might realise how true his words reflect reality, at the same time laugh at how he cleverly pokes fun at the harsh world of cold cash devoid of the human touch of love. i won't want to miss the chance to listen to his songs live. Sam Hui's work is timeless and not something to be dismissed off. I wonder who can appreciate it with me. Hope I can find company, its too miserable to go on my own. Just check out this sistic website about the concert.

http://www.sistic.com.sg/portal/dt?dt.isPortletRequest=true&dt.action=process&dt.provider=PortletWindowProcessChannel&dt.windowProvider.targetPortletChannel=JSPTabContainer/sEventsCalendar/Event&dt.containerName=JSPTabContainer/sEventsCalendar&dt.windowProvider.currentChannelMode=VIEW&dt.window.portletAction=RENDER&contentCode=sam0308

When i'm gone, would anyone feel it? Would anyone knows or discerns the difference? Would anyone wept or maybe cheer? I'm just a speck of dust in this large world. I'm insignificant. What difference would it have made? It will still be the same. Nothing changes. No one felt any difference. It will just move on.....

29th Jan which means 2 more days to 31st Jan. As the date to my last day in school draws closer, I hardly felt anything about it. This can be attributed to my current health condition. Been coughing.... bad cough...felt that my lungs might be coughed out any moment. During my teaching stint, I'm vulnerable to coughing. It comes and goes. I could hardly be spared from the clutches of the bug which is BUGGING me now. No mood for anything. Just want to get well soon. 31st Jan or no 31st Jan, it doesn't matter. It doesn't mean anything to me, even it does spell the end of my teaching career. I just want to get well, that's all I care.

The act of buying something, be it big or small, is spirit-lifting and brings joy. I cannot explain the effects of shopping for me, but i noe just one thing, i feel good. Its like the purchasing power u have and the decisions u make you feel so alive again. U feel like a living person, not Dead, once u shop! And it may not just be shopping for clothes, it can be anything. Shop and save marts give me the same satisfaction that i can get. Its just crazy that i would be so happy when i'm in shop and save, buying food stufs like tidbit, sweets, chocolates. When i touch the packet of potato chips, i feel that this is all to life. Wa ha ha! I think i'm just plain insane!

I hate sales-based jobs....really really dislike sales. I don't buy the idea of convincing someone to get something. I am against the nature of sales. I prefer to provide a service. I like a sales promoter whom i approach instead and ask for recommendations. Then he answers my needs by matching wat i'm looking for and wat the product offers, not push around his goods to me which i dont even need! Still got sales target to meet and commission-based pay. Such unstable incomes that depends on how much u manage to sell at the end of the day. Crazy........"incentives" like that push sales people to desperate states. Explains sales people r so crazy and persistent in getting their stuffs offload to their customer. Wat losers! Come on people, if i need something, i will approach u! if i dont need anything, no matter how much u say, i still won't need it. The only reason i will buy it is to just please u so that u dont harrass me anymore. Stop harrassing me, u fleas..vermins.... pests!

I kind of miss her, now she's not there at her table. It's taken up by someone else. It feels awkward that when i look in the direction of where she used to sit, i see someone else instead. Miss the every morning warm greetings we had for each other... miss the lunch breaks together....miss the stuffs we did together.... it feels so different without her around.

Hairspray Music Video

Another Hairspray song! Good song to listen in the morning before going to work. 93.3 FM used that song too, it's changed to Good Morning, Singapore!

Without love (Hairspray)

I like this song, from the movie, a musical called Hairspray. Starring the big star from High School Musical, Zac Efron. Ever since I watched High School Musical, I really like to watch musicals