The last thing I want to hear from myself is that I'm exhausted by work. I will never want work to dominate my life at this point of time. Not to say i want to slack, but exhaustion means overwork. That's not the kind of life it should be. Its a crazy mentality out there. Overwork=That's the way it should be. Tired from work=Good.

"How's work?"

"So far so good."

"Good, can give you more work."

"..........."

Next time I will say:"Wah, very stress ah.. so much work to do ah...wah i'm working to my limit. My hands r tied leh...."

I needed that kind of therapy. Feeling tired and lethargic, it was nice and worthwhile trip to east coast park. Though distant, I like the sea breeze, the beach, the sea itself and the waves. I have always enjoyed to just watch what people are doing. That's call idling, and my neighbour's cat does that all the time.

Every morning, when I just step off my house, the orange felline can be seen at the door, lying and watching me from the comfort of its mat. It observed my every movement with its rather large eyes, and it looked relaxed. Perhaps that explains the affinity and attraction I have for cats. They seem like one of the creatures which know how to slack and be lazy.

I spent half my day at east coast, loving every minute of it. I felt so much more rejuvenated and energised after that. Ever more ready to get back to work.

I abused my way with words, twist and turn it into some grandeur and magnificent. what insanity to cover up nudity as art. wa ha ha


the curvature and serpentine figure is of the rite degree to offer aesthetic pleasure.......
her pose is natural and yet evocative.
there r many modes of connecting oneself to the soul of the art. one would be via the sense of touch, that we find ourselves drawn to the richness and deptness of the masterpiece.

Hell lot of nonsense

tml morning 97.2fm radio talk show. Its with fen ying again, this time i'm more prepared, i noe what to do, and i noe how its gonna be like. My superior wants me to be media specialist. No issue, just go on and keep on trying until I got the hang of it. Surely, it gets better with more tries. Its coming fri and i'm running out of steam. I need to go to keat hong for recharging. And of course the Xiao Yao You concert! Some alcohol will just do fine to end the nite.

On beauty and appreciating beauty

What defines beauty and what not defines beauty? What is beautiful and what is ugly? This is one of the burning questions I have always habour. I cannot understand how a piece of art or visual specatacle is defined and judged upon. It is subjective, some say but then the question remains unsolved. Is it pleasing to the eye. If you find something pleasing, it is beautiful? So what makes it pleasing. John Armstrong provides some insightful claims to the notion of beauty. Well put across, John claims that beauty is recognised yet so elusive as we try to describe the beauty. So the nature of beauty may not be put across in words so easily. Maybe not.

John's work attempts to instill clarity and explainations to the notion of beauty, enabling us to appreciate beauty. His book put across certain theories proposed by the intellectuals of the past. Pythagoras, clearly impressed by numbers and figures, talks about proportion as the nature of beauty. A certain degree of curvage can be seen as beauty. Functionality can be beauty too. But no perfect theory that fits all observations.

The beauty of John's work, as I came to appreciate, is his attempt to explain subjectivity in appreciating art. Well constructed with such clarity, like a crystal clear lake that allows one to see to the bottom of things, I'm deeply impressed and satisfied with his theory. That subjectivity, the taste of arts, of why different people have different opinion of a piece of artwork, is rather based on a person's character and his perception of things. now the perception of things is not simply reduced to subjectivity, of how different people have different views on things but in terms of his trained eye for details. as he explains, Some people are sensitive, the eye captures details whereas some do not. those who can, spot the details in the object is able to capture the essence and to understand the piece. those who dont merely pass it off and cease to appreciate the work. To appreciate, one must look close enough, hard enough, look for the details: the balance and mixture of colours, the lines and curvatures, the background and the foreground. The emotion and the expression of the protraits can be expressed through the eye and the posture of the character.

With the Singapore Biennale ongoing, I'm rather keen to be on a lookout for the exhibits. Yet contemporary art is something rather new to me. The experience to this new untouched field is going to be interesting . not to say that i have become a qualified critique overnite but I can say that Armstrong's theories is good enough to me to craft some new means of appreciation. I will look forward to the surprises installed for the visitors.

Xia suay now better than xia suay when u r a lao jiao. That's what I live by. In the past, I really dread making mistakes and so avoid certain situations when I will be prone to making mistake. No use one, still the problem will surface sooner or later. Tml, I will be the speaker for a short talk. Big boss around, nvm... just go and show face, talk nonsense and speak gibberish. If I embarass myself, just take it la. At nite, go drink, get drunk, go and puke, forget everything... next day a fresh and brand new day.

Ah yah, 97.2 FM again ah.... talk cock, sing song again loh...

Y am i writing like that today, har? Crazy man!

Many a times, its the simple stories that touch the hearts. I share a story that I heard from a workshop. And this moving story touches me deeply.

Its master Professor Ueno, loves Hachiko alot. "Good Dog, Hachiko. You are the best dog in the all of Japan."

Everyday, Hachiko sees Professor Ueno off to work at the Shibuya Station and would return to the station to accompany Professor Ueno returning from work. What a smart dog Hachiko is!

But one day, Professor Ueno did not come back from work. Haciko waits and waits, only for the station master to chase him away. Hachiko comes back the next day again to wait for Professor Ueno.

Hachiko waits. Professor Ueno had died of a heart attack at work. Hachiko does not understand. All he knows is that Professor Ueno knock off at 3pm so without fail, Hachiko waits faithfully for his return.

Not even Yasuo, the young boy who takes care of Hachiko could convince Hachiko.

Now 10 yrs has past, Hachiko waits. And he died on that very spot, where he waited for Professor Ueno, at the Shibuya station.

Hachiko shows us the very gems of life: loyalty, devotion and love. So rare it is, so precious this is that it moves us deeply and touch our heart. People at the station all knew about Hachiko's tale. They decided to build a monument to commerate him. I heard that couples in Japan propose in front of Hachiko's statue. If ever I have a chance to go Japan, I must go to the Shibuya station to see for myself Hachiko's statue.

Hmmm...... wonder what r some of the stuffs i can do after work to occupy myself. I don't really like the idea of watching tv to sleep. Some kind of excercise should be good. Its not tat easy to find sports khaki nowadays. Trekking, cycling, swimming, tennis? It's tricky. This are mostly day sports. Is there something known as nite sports? Also quite boring to do sports alone loh.........

My my, that thought has never crossed my mind. I mean what?!?! I becoming a father and have a child that will bear some kind of resemblance to me. Oh man, that turns me off. I must say when you ask me to make a choice I prefer kittens to babies. I don't know what to do in front of the toddlers that people will find cute. Well, at least I know how to play with a kitten, a nice pat on its head, it comes to you and sticks to you, rubbing its body against your legs. I wouldn't know what to do with a human infant. I'm at lost.

I can't make that kind of funny faces. Just cant't, and don't want to. I'm glad that my sis agrees with me that babies are not as fun as kittens. At least to this point of time, that's wat i think.

And so I come into contact with another person who numbs herself with being busy. I'm not too convinced that this is the right way of life. Not that she whines about loneliness has to do with that but I decided to give it a little thought and ponder about the kind of life most ideal. I don't think its a overstatement to say that people keep themselves busy so that they don't feel bored. And then that boredom could have a lot to do with loneliness though they are two different things.

Tried and tested, I realise something lacking in a lifestyle like this. I recollect the moments in NUS, that I decided to make full use of my time by getting myself into one busy man. 6 modules in one sem, 2 tuition assignments to go along with this delicious menu of no time to myself. Y? Because I got nothing to do with the time I have for myself! It's a good way to drain yourself so that you stop thinking bout loneliness. It cures the symptoms but not the disease. At the end of the day, you will be damned tired so that you won't even have time for any negative thoughts. But looking back, there is some sense of lost and disorientation. What was that all for? I asked myself. I don't think I was satisfied at anything at the end of the day. I wasn't particularly exhilarated or anything. I don't think I feel the rewards from it. One sem felt like half a sem, that's just how it feels. I wonder is that how life should be?

So I have learnt that life is not about keeping yourself occupied for the sake of keeping yourself occupied. And I have realised that work is not the solution to happiness too. Toiling all day long is not the way of life. Work life and personal life balance is crucial. Those who commit too much time to work seems to me not an ideal kind of life. Those who enjoy too much and not committed to work is not having a right life style too. Its about finding the right balance.

Hang on to your seat and have a good grip with your steering wheel. You will need a good dose of courage to stimulate the speed devil in you. Go-kart is one hell of an experience. Don't be fooled by the run-down look of the miniature kart. It may seem a little kiddish from its looks but it sure can go fast. A truly thrilling experience, you have a feel of how it will be like when you are in for the speed. As you pump up the acceleration, the engine roars, the kart vibrates and everything around you starts to go pass you faster. The speed comes with the control; it's a test of skills and guts, to go fast at the corners and yet maintaing control. As i attempt to mimic the moves in the shows and movies of drifting and driving without breaking, I realise it seems easy but hard to do in reality. My kart started spinning out of control when I negotiate a sharp bend with full speed. Nevertheless I enjoyed the experience of speeding, it's something worth to try again in the future.

I have long wanted to write this post. In it, I shall pour out all the contents and left nothing behind. So often we whine about, make a big fuss about it, and we just can't seem to get it right. No no, we are not desperate, there's a clear distinction between despair and desire.

Everytime I read Sumiko's rantings, I can't help to feel that we could be good friends, maybe she can even be my next god-sister. Oh yes, Sumiko writes on the Strait Times column. Both of us have something in common, that we make a big fuss out of loneliness and our self-consciousness and anxiety escalates to such high levels that we are almost narcissistic. It is self-comforting to some extent that there's someone out there who is like me, but it's not something one can smile and be proud about.

Back to loneliness, I wonder why is it so hard for me to tell myself to get on with my life. Sumiko is in her 30s, she has every reason to feel left out when her friends are, settled with their own family. Not that I'm the only one single among my friends but then again, it just doesn't make it feel any better. Life's kind of boring, really quite dull. A companion makes the journey much more enjoyable, all my friends agree with the notion except for a few, but finding that companion is a big question.

Please guys, how can I buy that? That you are fine with being single! Pretentious cunning people you are! You self-decieving, this doesn't fool me. It always happen. You say you not interested and that next minute you got attached. Crap shit!

Stop saying that when the moment is right, the right girl will come. So what, chio bus will fall from the sky and end up on my lap?!?!

I went for a SDU organised event with a guy friend, for a paint ball and go-kart event. The main point is not that I'm joining a SDU event. Now what i'm gonna say next, is that I didn't expect the crowd to be made up of mainly people in their 30s. Hmmmm..... misfits!!!!!!! But nope that's not the main point either. How do I find the activity? My most sincere answer: Good, but I sure hope I don't end up going SDU when I'm in my 30s. I have got 5 more years, counting down now............

Love it! I can't control myself when it comes to high school musical. Its something I will go wild over. Once, me and my friend started playing the song and started dancing on the road like we are in some kind of musical. We were out of control for that short moment.

The movie is showing in Oct and I won't miss it. Sharpay, u r simply lovely!

blogskins.com is a bad place to find blog skin. My current blog skin stinks. It does not induce my appetite for blogging. Its so uninviting.

Walt disney channel tween sensation hannah montanah alias miley cyrus is on the news again. She released a new album, breaking away from the teenage genre and trying to get everyone not to see her as the little girl she is. First racy photos, then breaking away from her iconic disney symbol of good and nice down-to-earth girl . Bad news. Look at britney spear's "not a girl, not yet a women". Screwed man, those who's eager to show themselves to be mature tend to be going towards the downhill of their career as well. Good luck miley, the media will be gloating over your misadventures!

The audience roared, the emotions were high. Pride is at stake here, as the physical and the mental strength of the players are tested. To play in front of a crowd of 30,000; the pressure is unbearable.

The striker attempts a shot from a difficult angle. It looks like its going in but the fine reflexes of the keeper manage to put a stop to it. Quality save, superb keeping. But wait! what's going on? I think I just saw the goalkeeper scores an own goal, with the ball into his hands, back into his own net. What a terrible, horrendous mistake! The supporters are not very happy with what they are seeing. Horrible, horrible, It's just not his day! No 1. Javier cannot afford to make such a mistake in a big game like this. Let's hope we can see something better from him the next time he plays. Players like him falter in the big games. Fine lad, I think he just need more experience and exposure.

So on to my 2nd part of if the ODAC camp which took place from 04/07/08 - 07/07/08

Day three. In the morning, we had games at ECP. Got disgusting game, also got very engaging game. Another of the piggyback a girl game. This time, we piggyback a girl, run into the sea, let the girl fill up a bottle of sea water, and pour it into a bottle on the shore that is poked with small holes! That means we have to be really fast to be able to to fill up the entire bottle! Halfway, We started to dunk the OGLs and GLs into the waters. Very xiong. I was so shag by then. Main highlight of the day is dragon boat. It turns out to me that dragonboat is more fun than nite-cycling to my surprise. You never know whether you like it unless you try it. This is one classic example. The instructors taught us the techniques of paddling, and the way to hold the paddle. We did dragon boat at the kallang basin. Dragonboat is very different. You get to have a taste of it, really. My boatmates in front, keeps splashing water at me when she paddles. And we need to synchronise with each other, timing must be good, must have mo qi, so that the paddling is efficient. It require team-effort, not cycling. We get to experience the thrill of a dragonboat race. The adrenaline rush, the morale, the urge to win, was enough to push us to put in our very best. And we do something and give it with everything we have, that feeling is good. We were rewarded as we turn out to be the winner of the race among the five groups. It's damn shiok, the sensation of winning is memorable. As if time stops, you dont want that sense of goodness to escape from you.

Day 4, paintball. Its a battle simulation game. Very fun, something tat i also really like to have a feel of it. Every player gets a gun, and the gun shoots out paint instead. Two teams on the battle field, with barrels, chest, barricades for cover, to dodge enemy fire. Two objectives in the game, one is to hit opponent target, it's a small orange target, and the next is to grab a box, placed at the front line, and get to back to the base. This is the most xiong game, i find, i was trying to run as fast to get the box, but always ganna shot. Once u get hit, u got to run back to the first-aid area before u r "revived" and u can be playing the game again. Ther's 2 rounds, my grp won the first, and we lost the 2nd round. I ganna shot many times because i'm the one trying to grab the box, the primary target for the opponent. Got bruises over this places. that's y its "PAINT" = "PAIN" ball!

End of the camp! It makes me feel like a freshie again. I enjoyed all the moments and activities, showering in a rather open place, where people can see, tasted sea water, sat around a campfire, had crappy cheers and campfire songs, guys try to act like chio bu contest... so much more to say.... that i can say.

When i reached home, the silence and serenity of my house, got me taken back. Feel a little lost, i asked, where is my tentage? Where is my OG members who will be suggesting games to occupy the free time?

The 4 days NUS ODAC camp was fun and I must blog about it before i forget all the details. All this while, when i was working in the library, i started to think that i didn't get the fun I should be getting in NUS when i was still a undergrad. Stumling upon the ODAC website, I decided to give it a try to experience a orientation camp, which i never did before. And most of all, the camp comes in an ideal package of programes that I always have been interested but never got to do.

First day, treking trip. We started off with king albert park, in bukit timah. It's an abandoned railway track. We bash through vegetation, walking on grass path, somehow my OGL, Edward was stung by some unknown insect, probably a wasp. He's really unlucky to be stung at the begining of the trek. All of us got to poke fun of his toe for the remaining of the camp. It was swelling up, twice the size of an average thumb should be. We were already being warned in the begining that there's a muddy path that is powerful enough to suck our footwear in. It is short tunnel, but with enough light to see the inside, partially dark. The ground is flooded with water on both sides, making the whole tunnel only walkable in the center. Making things worse the mud is really thick. Planting my foot in, i feel like as if it was a strong adhesive, not letting go of my sandels. I have to tug really hard to pull it out, producing the loud "smack" sound every time i do it. My GL Shania was so cute (Ka Wai!). She was saying out how scared she is of the darkness when we were in the tunnel, I had to hold onto her hand and comfort her. At nite, we had canal walk. as in we really did a canal walk in one of the long gangs! but its situated in a forested area, along the roads of ulu pandan, where the old SMM is. The part we start to get wet begins once we enter the tunnel. It's totally dark inside, can't even see your own hand with a torch light, the water level reaches somewhat underneath the knee level, occassionally above knee level. It was definitely a different experience, something you never get to do usually. I like the feeling of the cool water, and the thrill of exploration, plus the crowd does add on to the atmosphere. We camp outdoors in west coast that night. That was my outdoor camping after 5 yrs, since i leave the ns. Couldn't really sleep, but did manage to sleep a little.

Day 2, scavanger hunt. Given a map and a piece of written clue, we have to find checkpoints in the area of east coast. One of the station was in island resort, its a chalet and its held at the checkpoints. This checkpoint damn xiong! I should say the whole camp really drained me out physically, but I had so much fun with the activities! Coming back, guys were suppose to piggyback a girl, with the girl holding onto a small pail. The rest of the grp members suppose to stand behind the line and try to aim the ball into the pail. So xiong. I never thought i could piggyback a girl, actually I was doubting myself whether i can do it or not, but turns out i can leh! haha. Army helps, i suppose. We had nite-cycling tat nite, navigating the map to get to the checkpoints. Most of the checkpoints are makan places. We stopped to have supper along the stations.

Then it happens, by then i was too tired, we were still cycling at the wee hours of 4am, plus the rushing around and the piggyback, it was too much to take. I fell with my bike when we were returing to the campsite, in East Coast Park itself. I was standing on the pedals of the bicycle, the seat rest was hurting my butt, and i need to raise myself for my butt to take a short break. Its a freak accident, which means it shouldn't happen. I just felt that i loss my footing and started to lose balance. I fell down, having laceration on my hands and knee. I got this big bruise over my right knee cap now. But its damn fine, looking at the bruise is a reminder of the night cycling. And that makes me feel good because i get to do something I always wanted to! I always wanted nite cycling because i think its a different experience from day cycling.

I wonder when i can see this person again? It felt like we know each other for many years though we only had fleeting moments. It was like as if we could share about everything in this world, and have nothing to hide. Such genuine relations is rare to come by, more precious than all the riches you can ever gather in this world. This connection --- I truly appreciate. To be truly heard, to be truly listening as well. I wonder how many of us can do that.

Morrie died. I cried. I lost a teacher. I have no idea how Morrie looked like. I have never seen him. I wasn't even by his side when he left. But Mitch told me everything. Morrie was a teacher everyone wanted to have...... There's not gonna be anyone close enough to be another Morrie. Yes.... good old Morrie....

"What are u doing"

"I finished the book, Morrie died. He was such a nice man"

"You know it would come, dont u? You know Morrie will die at the end. You know it all the while, dont you?"

"I know..... but I........... I can't help it........."


I played the scene in my head. Morrie was on his bed. He could hardly speak. Mitch was there. He saw Morrie decay away, The ALS he suffered shrunk his muscles, his body getting smaller everdyay. But that didn't made him feel sorry for himself. He told us all about life. What life should be. How we place value in all the wrong things. Morrie taught me how precious every moment is. I'm grateful for that.

It was time for him to go. Mitch didn't know how to say goodbye. Morrie's feeble hands held Mitch's, placing it on his own chest, his heart. "Mitch...., this is how we say goodbye........"

Morrie died in serenity. And that is how he wanted it to be.

But I know Morrie lived on in our hearts. Mitch made it possible with the book. His tale, his tuedays with Morrie shall always touch our hearts, filling our hearts with the warmth of humanity and love.

The book will be there, in that particular shelf, at that particular spot. And I know that the next reader who picks it up, would have very much wished that he had a teacher like Morrie.